CityLove

23 months, or 702 days, or 1, 010, 880 minutes

2012-02-10T13:26:00.001-06:00

That's how long my baby has been alive. Just one month shy of TWO years old!

In many ways, I already think of him as a two-year-old. The tantrums are certainly Sized Two already. He's almost outgrown 2T clothing. His car-seat is facing forward already (something I swore I wouldn't do until he turned 2). And he's been in the Twos class at daycare for a month already (and he's bigger than at least half of his classmates).

But technically, there is still one more month before my baby is a two-year-old.

The birthday party plans are in full swing. I've already ordered decor, have my menu planned out, his gift has been purchased, and invitations went out early this week.

Otherwise, we're just chug-chugging along. It should be a pretty fun spring for us. The weekend before his party, we're going (along with some friends of ours and their adorable daughter Emma) to see Sesame Street Live. I've been eagerly anticipating this since we bought the tickets last fall. When I was not much older than Ben is now, my mom took me to see Sesame Street Live. It seems only fair that I return the favor. :)

Then in April, we'll be going to A Day Out with Thomas. I know my little Thomas fan will love it!

My little guy is in for so much fun in the next couple of months...and he has no idea! :)

From the pages of Abercrombie & Fitch, Toddler edition...

2012-01-23T16:58:00.004-06:00

My little model. Love him!

Hello, 2012!

2012-01-13T16:45:00.002-06:00

So, somehow, a new year snuck up on us, and all of the sudden, BAM! It's 2012!

The holidays were good to us. We had a wonderful time with family, got lots of good presents, and began some of our own family traditions as well. Of course it's always hard figuring out how to balance family time during the holidays, especially once you start a family of your own. But we managed to make it through relatively unscathed, and not nearly as fatigued as we were during our first Christmas as a family of 3. So we considered that a success!

Checking out his new play kitchen

All 3 grandkids on my husband's side.

With a successful Christmas under our belts, my husband decided to be bold and throw a New Year's Eve party as well. You know what? It was so much fun! We had about 15 people over, including a couple of little cuties (although our own little cutie rang in 2012 with his Nana, so that Mommy and Daddy could party guilt-free).

Chris and Pete playing Kinect

So now here we are, nearly two weeks into the new year. Benjamin's completed his transition to the 2s room at daycare, and loves playing with the big kids. Things are going well, and I'm looking forward to what 2012 has in store for our family!

Santa Claus is coming...

2011-12-02T22:42:00.001-06:00

To the Arts District?

Tonight we attended a tree-lighting ceremony in Dallas' arts district. It was a fun event - we got to hear some good singing; see the tree lit by a ballet dancer, a few kids and our city manager; and Ben and I shared milk and cookies to close out the night. But the highlight (for me, anyway) was Ben's first time to meet Santa.

It was a spur of the moment decision to hop in line to meet the man in the red suit. Branden was at work, and I was a little hesitant for this milestone moment to happen in his absence. But the line was short, and the pics were free - so I went for it.

While we stood in line, I talked it up to Ben. Reminded him about who Santa was, how he brought presents, showed him the other kids sitting on Santa's lap. I did all the hyping you can really do for a kid who's not yet 2. When it came right down to it, the moment of truth...

This was as close as he'd get to Jolly Old St. Nick. We got up there and made our introductions (Ben mostly looked away, and I could already tell he was nervous and scared). Santa asked if we were going to try this (handing Ben over)...I said "I don't know"...and as soon as I made a motion to set Ben in his lap, my son had a vice grip on me, was shaking his head vigorously, and saying "Nooo".

Fortunately, Santa's feelings weren't hurt. He invited me onto his lap, and I laughed. Which is precisely when the pic was taken. No matter, it's still cute, and it's still a memory.

And the best part? Branden didn't mind a bit that we did it without him. And we might go to another Santa on Sunday too...that was my original plan anyway.

Merry Christmas!

Baby's first...girlfriend?!

2011-10-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

I heard a couple of stories today when I picked Ben up from daycare that I just had to share - and they both involve a certain cute little blonde girl with curly hair!

Sophia has been in Ben's class for a month or two now. She's a few months younger than Ben, and an absolute doll. I've heard mention of them being "two peas in a pod" before, but I had no idea the extent of it until today.

According to Ben's teacher, Sophia and Ben have this "thing" they do. One will be looking out the back window at the playground, the other out the classroom door into the hallway. They turn around, see each other - and then run towards each other full tilt and hug!

And if that wasn't cute enough...teacher also said that when Sophia falls down, Ben gets upset if anyone else but him tries to help her up!

My baby already has his first girlfriend - and he's not even 2 yet! I can still wait a few years before we have "the talk", right? I mean, he has to be able to say "birds and bees" first, right?

I just had to see you

2011-09-29T15:13:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, on the way to work, a song came on that reminded me of you.

This happens quite a bit. Usually I smile, and think of the good times we had.

But yesterday was different. Yesterday I felt nothing but sadness. Yesterday I missed you so badly, I just had to see you.

But I had work to do. So I worked. I busied myself with small projects that didn't require much thinking...because my brain was still missing you.

I made it past lunchtime, and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I got in the car, and I took off.

I drove for 20 minutes, headed south towards the rolling hills. I pulled off the highway, and drove some more. Then I saw the massive brick gates that greet me at your front door.

And that's when the tears came.

I drove slowly down the main road, until I came to Columbarium B. I pulled over, and slowly I walked to your spot. I sat down in front of you, and we talked. Mostly, I cried.

How is it possible that you've been gone almost two years?

I miss you, Wayne. I love you.

18 months!

2011-09-21T13:24:00.001-05:00

I neglected to do a post celebrating Benjamin's latest milestone...and anyone who knows me should know how I am about milestones! So here's a check-in on how my little one-and-a-half year old is doing.

18-month stats:
30 lbs 11.5 oz (he was up 3 oz when we took him in 4 days later...so it's safe to say he's basically 31 lbs)
33.5 inches tall
49 cm head circumference

Those are all pretty much "big". Height is around 90th percentile, weight is closer to 95th, and head's up there too. It's actually good that he's proportionate, and it totally makes sense. From all reports, his daddy was a sizable, well-built toddler, and look at him now - he's tall and muscular, built like an athlete.

What's our little Benji up to these days?

Talking. Talking all the time. About a quarter of it is recognizable words. The rest is gibberish. He's got quite a burgeoning vocabulary (and to think, we were worried about his hearing once upon a time!). Our favorites of his words are "shooooes" and "ouSIDE?". His favorite lately seems to be "Eh-mo!". He loves watching Sesame Street, and gets especially excited about seeing Elmo on-screen.

Reading. He looooves to be read to. He'd happily spend hours bringing you a book, sitting in your lap, letting you read to him, taking that one back for a new book - lather, rinse, repeat. Sometimes I'll find him sitting at his bookshelf, books spread out all around him, thumbing through one after the other. It should be no surprise that this habit of his completely warms my heart.

He's still not a runner. He can motor on down the hall pretty quickly, but true, fast running? Hasn't come yet. I'm okay with that. He's active, but not hyperactive. He's more of the inquisitive, people-watching type. Sometimes I'll take him down to the park and he'll just stand there, staring at all the activity around him.

He's a lover, and a biter. He's great at giving hugs, especially the kind that require a running start and diving into your open arms. He loves to laugh, especially at his Daddy. We're also working on curbing his biting behavior - which, strangely, he only lets loose on me and his friends at daycare. Go figure.

So that's the story with Benjamin right now. He's a wonderful, awesome, amazing little kid, and I feel so lucky to be his mama.

A couple of funny stories...

2011-09-20T13:26:00.000-05:00

So my kid is 18 months old now...I probably should've put up some great, sentimental, 18 month post, but I didn't. Because I was busy chasing after an 18-month-old.

I do have a couple of cute stories to share about my favorite little boy, though.

Story #1: The magic word

So we had chicken fajitas for dinner tonight (pretty yummy, if I do say so myself). We had a box of cookies out on the table and decided to finish them off for dessert. Ben had a piece of chicken left, and we were trying to get him to eat it before he could have his cookie.

We tried everything we could. He was near tears, shoving everything out of his way, meltdown was imminent. We were about to give up when, on a whim, I said "Benjamin, can you help Mommy? I need you to eat this piece of chicken."

A light flicked on, the heavens opened, he grabbed the chicken and popped the whole thing in his mouth. He grinned while he chewed. Branden and I stared, dumbfounded.

I never in a million years thought that would work. I just did it on a desperate whim.

Apparently, "help" is the magic word.

And then he got his cookie. :o)

Story #2: In his own time

Yesterday, I washed all of his fall clothes, which I already had hanging in his closet. This resulted in a big pile of hangers in the living room while the laundry was going. Inevitably, Ben found the pile and spread them all over, playing with them. It was fine, because he'd been fussy most of the day, and it was keeping him occupied.

So then it comes time to fold/hang up the laundry. I set the basket down by the couch, across the room from the pile of hangers. I ask Ben to bring them to me. He ignores me, because he's busy reading Railroad Toad. I ask a few more times. Nothing. I give up, thinking I'll have to get up and go get them when I'm ready for them.

All of the sudden, he puts his book down (like he was finished), stands up, picks up a couple of hangers, walks over to me, and hands them to me. It had to have been 5 minutes that had elapsed since I asked for them! And with coaxing, he proceeded to bring me every hanger over there, two at a time. It was awesome.

This kid is the coolest ever.

Videos!

2011-08-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went crazy with the video camera and got three really cute videos of Mr. Benjamin! Here they are...

17

2011-08-10T13:14:00.000-05:00

Seventeen months have gone by since the day I held my baby boy in my arms for the first time. Every single day, he learns and grows and changes. He's becoming such a fun and amazing little kid!

What has he been up to lately?

He's going through a "word explosion". He went from maybe a handful of words at 15 months to now speaking at least 25 or 30 that I can count. He's even started to put together two word phrases, like "I go" or "I do" or "I know."
He's started to say "Oh no!" and put his hands on his cheeks. OMG cute!
He can follow commands quite well now - when he wants to. The other day, I asked him to put his push toy away at Nana's house, not thinking he'd remember where he got it from. To my surprise, he pushed it right over and arranged it EXACTLY how Nana had it!
Last night, he found his discarded spoon on the floor a few minutes after dinner - and all on his own, he picked it up, walked to the kitchen, and put it on the counter by the dirty dishes!
He loves bathtime, especially now that we have "bubbles" and his new toy letters!

In general, he just makes life really super enjoyable!

Branden's still working his second job on the weekends...though we seem to have found a better family rhythm lately, now that he can sleep in on the weekends and get naps sometimes too. We both look forward to the day when he can quit that second job...especially because that will mean he has a professional planning job! It will happen...some day.

In the mean time, we try to make the best of the time we do have together. Several times, Ben and I have made the trek to Branden's second job with him and had dinner together out there. And Branden and I are trying to make sure to take time for ourselves too. On Sunday, we had a "family date". The three of us went out to dinner, then came home for dessert (frozen yogurt w/blueberries - yum!). After Ben went to bed, Branden and I snuggled on the couch and watched "The Tourist." It was a nice way to reconnect, and without having to worry about getting a sitter or anything. I highly recommend it!

So that's what we've been up to lately! :o) How about you?

Our new, grown-up apartment!

2011-07-25T13:40:00.000-05:00

So I had a feeling that moving into our new place would automatically feel more like home. What I didn't realize is how much it would light a fire under us (and our little guardian angel, my mom!) to update some of our furnishings to match the new, nicer apartment.

It started out with an entertainment center...

Old:

New:

(That's the photo from the Craigslist post...haven't gotten a good one of it in place yet).

Then, from there, it went to our couch. We'd been using a hand-me-down from my parents, with a slipcover on it that was more annoying than anything.

Old (you can see the pattern here):

New (again, from the Craigslist posting):

And last but certainly not least, we're now in talks with a friend to buy a queen-sized bed from him. It used to be his mother's but for whatever reason, she doesn't need it anymore. Our bed is perfectly fine, except for the fact that it's a full, and we just need more room. It was my bed from way back when I moved into my first apartment (2002). Worked just fine for one person, but we've been squeezing into it together for far too long (especially when I was pregnant with Ben!).

And of course we needed new bedding. Here's what I picked out:

Our walls in the new bedroom are brown, but our furniture is black. Hopefully this strikes a good balance. The new bed has a wooden headboard.

It's so nice to finally feel like a grown-up, and really be proud of my home! Now if we could just get our decorations hung on the walls...

Two years ago...

2011-07-13T10:42:00.000-05:00

Two years ago today, our lives changed forever, with one tiny digital word...

It was a Monday morning, and though I wanted to hold out until Tuesday to take that test, I'm glad I didn't. It sure did start our week off with a bang!

And in a crazy parallel with this week...two years ago this weekend, we told my parents we were having a baby. When did we tell them? Right after we went and saw "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". This Saturday, we're going to see the final installment of the series (Deathly Hallows Pt. 2, for you non-Potternerds).

A lot has changed in the last two years. We're going, regrettably, without Wayne, as we did for the last film as well. And we'll be leaving our little toddler with a babysitter.

Crazy to think that in two years, he's gone from this:

Barely even an embryo yet

To this!

A walking, talking, pointing at everything toddler!

I'm glad we have Ben now, but boy do I miss Wayne at times like these.

We're moving!

2011-06-29T13:18:00.000-05:00

I'm so sorry for the lack of posts recently. It's been a crazy busy month for us. We started off with a visit from our niece Macy...then Ben got sick right after that...and then we decided to move at the end of the month!

Around the middle of the month, I was randomly searching our building's "available floorplans" page, as I do every so often, and found that they had a very intriguing two-bedroom flat coming available in July.

We've been in our current loft for 2 1/2 years now - and I've had issues with it almost from the beginning. The floors (original 1929 hardwoods) creak, badly. The upstairs (an open loft with only a half-wall) is hard to keep cool (unless you run the 2nd a/c unit, which then freezes you out). It's also insanely noisy - and therein lies the biggest issue.

Branden's been working Friday and Saturday nights until 2 AM since May. He usually doesn't make it to bed until almost 3 AM on those nights. And once Ben wakes up and starts making noise - well, it's impossible to sleep through that when the bedroom is open to downstairs!

So when I found this floorplan, I got excited and showed it to Branden - and then he got excited. Fast forward about a week, and we had a deal (to keep us at our current lease rate) and a move-in date (July 2-4). But - ack - that's THIS weekend!

Fortunately, we're just about ready, and this is a fairly easy move anyway. We'll just be going down four floors, so many of our things will just be loaded into the wagon and pulled down the hall, onto the elevator, and down the next hall into our new place. We have help on Sunday, and of course the biggest help of all is my mom - who is keeping Ben for us Saturday and Sunday!

It will be my first overnight away from Ben, but I'll be so busy I won't have (too much) time to miss him. We've got a lot of moving (and painting - Ben's room) to do in two days!

And just because I'm not much for a post without pictures - here's our old unit:

And our new one can be found here. (I only have it in PDF format, so I couldn't upload it).

Cosmic Cousin Connection

2011-05-27T19:50:00.001-05:00

Tonight was progressing like any other Friday night. Ben went down for a quick post-daycare nap...I fixed dinner...we all sat down and ate together as a family before Branden headed off to his second job.

Ben was still in his highchair, finishing up dinner, when Branden was leaving. He gathered his things down at the other end of the house (well out of eyesight of either of us) and then told us goodbye from there. Only this time, Ben said "BYE!" right back to him!! A brand new word!

So of course, Branden had to peak around the corner to wave at him, and Ben said it again!

But it only gets cooler from there. I sent a bragging text to my mom, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. And my sister-in-law sends one back...saying that her daughter, Ben's cousin Macy, just said bye for the first time right after Ben did!!

Now if that isn't a cosmic cousin connection, I don't know what is.

And since a post doesn't feel complete without a picture, here's one of Ben from his friend Emma's birthday party last weekend.

14 months, 1 week, and 4 days

2011-05-22T20:44:00.000-05:00

That's how long I breastfed my son.

I can say that now, because it's over. We're finished. We had our last nursing session last night before bed.

We were down to just that one time a day anyway - had been since his 1st birthday. I noticed over the past week or so that he wasn't falling asleep at the breast like he used to. And our sessions were increasingly consisting of kicking, slapping, poking, and pinching - nothing vicious or mean-spirited, just the result of trying to be in close contact with an energetic toddler.

I feel so very fortunate that I was able to provide my son with breastmilk for so long. What I didn't know before I started was how attached I would become to breastfeeding! As silly as it sounds, I feel like I'm losing a part of my identity.

Until our next baby, of course...

Rough times

2011-05-19T14:09:00.000-05:00

We've been going through some rough times lately...especially for my husband. I don't want this to be too much of a downer post, but I do want to be honest about how things are going.

Branden finished his master's degree nine months ago. He's been applying for planning jobs ever since - and has yet to get one single interview. It's such a demeaning process, even in the best of times. But the job market out there just plain sucks right now. He's competing against so many people for so few jobs. One of the jobs he applied for was even taken off the market due to a lack of funding (a local city government). I try to keep his spirits up, but I completely understand why he's so frustrated.

As if that wasn't enough to deal with, last Saturday, Branden had to make the agonizing decision to put his dog Pepper to sleep.

We miss you, buddy.

Pepper had a large cyst on his side, that we originally believed was just a benign subaceous cyst. Unfortunately, after it ruptured, Pepper's condition quickly went downhill - and when the vet examined him, he determined it was probably cancerous.

So you'd think it'd be about time for Branden to catch a break, right? How about being offered a promotion at his job? Sounds pretty sweet, and definitely something he deserves. How about being offered a promotion, and then having it taken away? "Oh, we decided to keep the person we have in that position - just forget we ever mentioned it!" Yeah...I'm still fuming from that, and I can't believe his employer treated him that way.

Branden could definitely use some good thoughts right now. He works so very hard - especially now that he has the 2nd job on the weekends (Fri & Sat nights, 7pm - 2am). I've tried to pick up the slack at home and do as much as I can to make things easier on him. But it's still rough, and things would be so much easier if he could find a planning job! If you know of anyone who needs a city planner/transportation planner/neighborhood planner, etc. - let me know!!

National Infertility Awareness Week

2011-04-25T12:19:00.000-05:00

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), and all of my (IRL and online) friends who have dealt with infertility (IF), I'm blogging to bust an infertility myth.

Myth: Infertility isn't all that common - I don't know anyone who's dealt with it.

Not true! The problem is, infertility is still taboo. It's not talked about - it's whispered about in back rooms. Men and women who struggle to conceive on their own often hide their feelings - crying in private, month after month, as the negative pregnancy tests pile up. They feel shame when they have to make an appointment to seek medical help. "Why couldn't we just get pregnant on our own?" "It's so easy for so many people!" "Teenagers can get pregnant from one drunk night! What's wrong with me?!" "I'm broken! I'm not a woman because I can't get pregnant."

If we just spoke up a little more, perhaps infertility wouldn't feel so alienating. I hope I don't sound insincere, because I haven't dealt with IF first hand. But I know so many women who have, and it pains me that they have to suffer in relative silence. It frustrates me that so many insurance companies still don't cover IF treatment. It saddens me that many of my friends have had to pay tens of thousands of dollars just for the chance to get pregnant.

If you'd like to know more about infertility, please visit the Resolve website.

And he's off!

2011-04-20T13:23:00.000-05:00

Look at him go!

Another...this time holding his new ball:

And finally, showing off his new words - "kitty" and "uh oh!":

My First 5K!

2011-04-13T14:58:00.005-05:00

A couple of days ago, I found out about the Free to Breathe 5K, which is taking place in a suburb of Dallas on May 21. I found out about it through this news story, forwarded to me by my mom.

As most of you know, my father died of lung cancer in the fall of 2009. The chance to raise funds for the National Lung Cancer Partnership was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up. Last fall, I found out about another charity event put on by the American Lung Association, and even signed up, but it just wasn't the right event for me(a 52-story stairclimb? Yikes!) This one is much more palatable.

So, I signed up yesterday - and in a little over 24 hours, I've already raised nearly 50% of my $500 goal! I have no illusions that this is all because of me. I know people are giving money to the cause because they loved and cared about Wayne, or because they were by my mom's side through the whole ordeal.

This will be my first 5K. I'll probably walk most of it, but I may get up a jog or two in there. I'm hoping to push Ben in a (borrowed) jogging stroller, so he can be along for the journey (otherwise, I'm going it alone - which I'm fine with). My mom will be there to cheer me on from the sidelines. And Branden would be walking with me, except that he just started a second job, and will be working until 2 AM the night before. I'm giving him a pass on this one.

If you'd like to donate, you can visit my fundraising page here. Or just go and take a look at the little tribute I wrote about Wayne. He was such a special guy, and I am so, so fortunate I got to know and love and be loved by him for 20 years of my life.

We have a walker!

2011-04-09T21:11:00.005-05:00

Just a few days shy of 13 months old, Benjamin decided it was time to start walking. He's still a little unsteady, and only goes short distances for now, but it's a start! I got it on video a couple of times today:

At this rate, he'll be starting high school soon!

2011-04-06T21:03:00.008-05:00

I knew things would take off once Ben turned 1, but I had no idea it would go this quickly! What's he up to? Well..

For starters, transitioning to the toddler room at daycare. It's going really well. He already picked up the sign for "more", which he did at dinner a few days ago. He spends about half a day in the toddler room each day - though today he stayed even longer. He even napped over there today! This is a huge deal - because they nap on cots, and it was the part of the transition I was most worried about. Yeah, my kid's a champ, and I totally shouldn't have worried. I even got to see him napping on the cot when I stopped by today to drop off some diaper cream. So sweet!

What else? He had a pediatrician appointment on Monday - just a make-up for his one-year appointment. He was a little under the weather the first time, so Dr. A opted to delay his shots for a couple of weeks. Since that appointment, two weeks ago, he's gained over a pound! My not-so-little munchkin now weighs 26 lbs 10 oz, and the pediatrician jokingly asked "What are you feeding him, some kind of Miracle Grow?!" I never would've imagined he'd end up in the 90th percentile - this time last year, I was worried because he was such a skinny little thing, in the 10th percentile!

Let's see...what else...he's finally getting the motivation to take some steps on his own (just a few days shy of 13 months). After waiting on it for so long, and kind of expecting it somewhere around 12 months, I finally gave up and just relaxed about it. I found out from our moms that I didn't walk until 14 months, and my husband didn't walk until 13 months - so Ben's right on track! I really think the motivation is coming from being around the other toddlers and wanting to keep up. Hey, whatever works, right?

Here's a video of him taking a little walk (with the help of his Buzz Lightyear toy) in the lobby of our building last week:

On a totally unrelated note, Ben has a pretty nasty diaper rash right now. We were good about giving him naked time tonight to let it air out. My husband put down a blanket and hung out with him until dinner was ready. After dinner, I took him into his room to have a little more naked play time. Of course, that's when he decides to poo. Gah! Thankfully, my wonderful husband cleaned it up while I kept the kid from getting it all over the place. Ahh, the glamorous life of parents!

Computer problems suck!

2011-04-03T20:10:00.007-05:00

This post may end up being one giant whine-fest - so don't say I didn't warn you!

Thursday morning, I booted up our laptop just like I always do. Everything seemed okay until it got to the home screen. Instead of our background, it was a plain black screen. The only icon showing was for Recycle Bin. And a screen popped up, claiming to be "WindowsRepair", and saying it was doing a scan of our computer and finding major errors. There was a button to click to "fix the errors", so I did...and after attempting to fix the errors, a message popped up saying that in order to fix some of them, we'd have to purchase the advanced WindowsRepair program.

Curious, but by this time extremely wary, I clicked on the button, which took me to a very plain-looking order form. This was sending up all kinds of red flags for me. I picked up my phone and googled "WindowsRepair" and didn't find anything on it. Meanwhile, I tried to look around at the computer, but when I clicked on my documents, it said there was nothing there...empty...same for my photos.

By this time, my stomach is sinking. I'm wondering what in the world could be wrong with our computer, and wanting to stop everything and take it to someone to fix! I managed to calm down, and once I thought rationally, I figured it must be some sort of virus, masquerading as our computer's home screen. This gave me hope that our files were still in there...somewhere.

We decided to hold off on paying lots of money to take it to someone. When I got to work, I sought out one of our IT guys and described the problem to him. He said it sounded like malware, and that if I brought it in Friday morning, he'd be happy to see what he could do to fix it. He was hopeful that it wouldn't be too difficult of a fix.

Fortunately, he was right on the diagnosis - it was malware. He ran a program to remove the malware. Unfortunately, after it was removed, the files were still missing. He was able to do a restore from a restore point on 3/17 - thankfully, recent enough that we didn't lose any files. (All the pictures and videos of my son's first year, for starters - only partially backed up).

Lesson learned, I took the repaired computer home, and before the end of the day on Friday, I had in my hands a 1TB (yep, that's terabyte) external hard drive (for only $50!) to back up our files.

Unfortunately, it hasn't exactly been smooth sailing since then. All our files are there, but they're acting a little funny. Our internet favorites were "missing" even though they were still in the favorites file. I tried to get Explorer to recognize them, but it won't work - so I'm going through them one-by-one, visiting the page, and re-bookmarking them.

Then I get to FlipShare. I've already had to uninstall and reinstall it once because it was acting up. I did, and didn't seem to have any problems with it afterwards, so I figured when it was again acting up, I could do the same thing. Wrong! This time, after the reinstall, it couldn't seem to "find" the video files. And the ones it could find, it was finding incorrectly. So I'd click on a video from August, and it would start playing something recent. Very odd. I messed with that for about an hour (using valuable toddler nap time!) this afternoon. The upshot is, I still can't get it to recognize most of the videos - but at least the ones it does recognize are correct now. I figure it's not the end of the world - all my videos don't have to be in FlipShare. At least I know they're still there (I can view them in QuickTime just fine).

Moral of the story? Make sure your anti-virus software is always up-to-date. Ours should've been, but we had an issue recently with Norton charging our CC for an auto-renewal and then the software not recognizing our renewal code. It was one of those things we kept meaning to figure out, but we put it off...when we definitely should have.

We also should have been better about having a good back-up system. I wouldn't have freaked out nearly as much if I'd known our pictures and videos were safe (they are now).

Lessons learned.

Transitions...

2011-03-30T09:00:00.006-05:00

Hitting the one-year mark is a time full of transitions, for both parents and child. Going from a baby to a toddler...taking those first steps (still waiting)...often it's time for full or partial weaning...the list goes on and on.

This morning, I witnessed another transition for Benjamin, and it had me more emotional than I thought it would. I always knew that he'd move from the infant room to the toddler room at daycare some time around his first birthday. There are other characteristics that they look for - mobility, eating table foods, etc. But it usually happens somewhere around (but not before) 12 months.

The toddler room is right next door to his infant classroom. A windowed door separates the two, and he's spent plenty of time over the last few months peering in at the "big kids", watching them play. Many of his former classmates are over there now. Yesterday, they told me that he finally went over to visit for the first time (and it went very well!).

But this morning, when I dropped him off, they sent him over before I was even finished unpacking his things. So I stood and watched him for a while. I watched as the tallest girl in the class crossed paths with him...and tried to put a little "bow" on his head. I watched as he made his way over to a toy that must be so exciting and new to him. And as I stood there and watched, a lump formed in my throat. Surrounded by all those other toddlers, he was no longer the big fish in the baby pond. He was, really and truly, a toddler.

So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it made me so emotional. My little man is growing up.

No word yet on when he'll transition full time, but my guess is it will be soon.

In my other life...

2011-03-25T13:32:00.013-05:00

Do you ever daydream about what you would do with your life, if you had it to do all over again?

I have decided that, in my other life, I would be three things:

A doula

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A Lactiation Consultant

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And a Childbirth Educator

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So, why don't I just go for it?

Well, money, for one thing - being certified for any one of these things, much less all three of them, costs some money. Then there's the time involved - all three include a pretty significant time commitment for training, apprenticeship, clinical hours, etc. Then there's the issue of starting up a business and/or building a clientele for yourself.

Honestly, I never had any idea this was something I was so interested in until I went through the process of having a child myself. All of the sudden, a whole new world was opened up to me that I never really knew existed before. I've become a birth junkie - following all sorts of issues related to childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until I was 30 years old and a working mother to a very active little boy! And right now, I just don't have the time or the money to start a whole new career.

So for now, I'll just stick to daydreaming about what could've been...

Making Quesadillas...

2011-03-24T10:19:00.004-05:00

Or, how I found a dose of creativity in the kitchen.

I am not a creative person. I am very left-brained. Even my musical studies were approached in a very left-brained manner. I was never any good at improvisation - I needed structure (notes on a page).

My approach to cooking is very similar. I need a recipe. Directions to follow. Rules. Given a recipe, I can usually follow it and obtain enough success to consider the result edible, enjoyable even. But I have never been one to see ingredients in my kitchen and conceptualize a dish, or throw spices on something and have it turn out wonderfully.

I've always worried about this inadequacy in the kitchen - mostly for how it would affect my future children. My mom has always been what I'm not in the kitchen - she's a creative, thoughtful, inspired cook. We never hurted for yummy family dinners when I was growing up. But somehow that gene skipped a generation, which always made me wonder what kind of a gastronomic experience my children would have and remember. I know not every mom has to be a whiz in the kitchen - but mine was, and I felt like I owed it to my offspring to at least try.

Well, last night proved that I have at least a thread of that, somewhere in my DNA. I can't begin to tell you how proud I was of what I did in the kitchen last night. And here's the thing - it wasn't very difficult. It's going to sound silly when I admit how easy it was - but the fact that I did this, that I came up with it on my own, without a recipe, and executed it (fairly well, I might add) without consulting a single resource except my own brain - well, that was an accomplishment for me.

So what did I do that has me spewing congratulatory back-pats? I made quesadillas. Not only that, but I made them to use up something we already had in the house - cubed pepperjack cheese leftover from Ben's birthday party.

In addition to the cheese, I boiled and cubed a couple of chicken breasts and sauteed a bell pepper and an onion. (I sauteed!) Then I spread it all out between two burrito-sized flour tortillas (I'm nothing if not generous with my portion sizes). We had enough ingredients to make three large quesadillas. I cooked them one at a time in a pre-heated skillet with a dash of olive oil. Other than the first one, which I burned a little (turns out the heat should be set fairly low, to allow the ingredients to cook without crisping the tortilla), it was a very successful dinner! My husband and son both agreed.

So even though this seems like a fairly simple meal (served only with sour cream and salsa to garnish), it was a big accomplishment for me. Maybe I'm not so bad off in the kitchen. Too bad we can't live on quesadillas every day...

Benjamin's First Year

2011-03-16T13:45:00.001-05:00

I'm rather proud of this slideshow I put together for Benjamin's birthday party. Baby's first year...in pictures (and video!).

Benjamin's First Year from Courtney Helms on Vimeo.

A Letter to my Son

2011-03-16T13:21:00.006-05:00

Benjamin,

You are 1. A whole year old. You have now been in my life in some manner for over 20 months.

The day we found out we were going to be parents was magical. Then we found out you were a boy...even more magical. But nothing will ever top the day you came into our lives - Wednesday, March 10, 2010.

Since that day, your Daddy and I have made it our goal to be the best parents to you that we know how to be. We may not always live up to that ideal, but we definitely try. Every day is a new adventure with you - and just when we think we've got the routine down, you throw something new at us. You like to keep us on our toes. :)

So, you're a year old now. What are you like? Well...

You've been eating table foods for half your life...and you eat like a professional. You're not overly messy - for the most part, it's all about getting the food from the tray to your mouth. The dogs sure wish you were messier.

You started off a bit on the small side, but you've certainly caught up. At 6 months, you weighed 16 lbs. By 9 months, you were up to nearly 20 1/2 lbs. We'll find out on Monday what your stats are now, but I'm guessing you're 24-25 lbs by now. My growing boy!

We're still nursing first thing in the morning and right before bed...but I think it's mostly for comfort now. You drink whole milk at daycare and water with meals and snacks.

You're such a happy boy! Your smile lights up the room, and you aren't stingy with it either. And laughs come much more frequently now than they used to. Love them!

You were quick to crawl, pull up and cruise the furniture, but you don't seem to want to move on to walking just yet. You have no problem walking around holding on to our hands, or even just a finger, and you can stand without support...but when it's time to move, it's back on your bottom and crawling away.

You love to babble - Mama and Dada and gaaa and baa - that's the closest you've come to words yet.

Only a couple of times have you waved goodbye...we're still working on that one.

Overall, though you have your moments (mostly when we have to tell you No), you are a sweet, fun, cuddly, active, inquisitive, interesting little boy. Watching you grow up is the most fun thing I've ever gotten to do - and I am excited for the new adventures the next year will bring.

All my love,

Mommy

My, how you've grown...

My Breastfeeding Journey

2011-03-01T21:44:00.006-06:00

With the exception of a handful of those I'm closest to (and a message board full of "internet strangers"), I don't talk much about breastfeeding. But as Ben and I are approaching the end of this journey, I feel compelled to share our story.

Part of the reason I don't talk about it much is that really, there's not much to talk about. Breastfeeding has been fairly intuitive for both of us, even from the start. Despite the fact that Benjamin was born in distress, and I didn't see him for the first 45 minutes of his life, as soon as he was handed to me, we had our requisite skin-to-skin contact, and he latched on like a champ from the get-go. We never faced any of the issues I hear so much about - poor latch, inadequate supply, cracked nipples, etc. My milk came in early in the morning of the Friday after he was born - he was only about 36 hours old at that point.

Even when things got hairy with Ben's severe jaundice, our pediatrician never once suggested that I supplement. Instead, she just urged me to feed him every two hours, like clockwork - which I took seriously. The night he was on the bili lights (here at home - another point for the pediatrician for not sending us to the hospital), while he laid in the tanning bed, I sat a few feet away in the recliner. I dutifully woke him every two hours. Our routine went something like this - wake, pick up, make sure the "bili blanket" paddle was positioned under him, feed for 30 minutes, reposition under the lights, sleep for 90 minutes, repeat. All night long. It was, to date, the hardest night I've faced as a parent - especially when my husband woke up refreshed from a night alone in our bed. I might've thrown some choice words his way that morning in my sleep-deprived, hormonal state. After all, it had only been five days since I gave birth at that point!

But we weathered that storm just fine - Ben got rid of the jaundice, and started putting on more weight (he didn't gain much at all that first week due to being too sleepy to eat - a side effect of the jaundice). I continued to feed on demand.

Things went swimmingly throughout maternity leave. We quickly settled into a routine, and I began to actually enjoy breastfeeding my son. It was (and still is) our special time together - something no one else gets to share with him. I started pumping sporadically when Ben was a few weeks old, though in hindsight, I wish I'd been more dedicated. I never did build up a very large freezer stash, and there were times when my lack of stash really caused me to worry. I can say now that we made it through, but it was by the skin of my teeth at times that we got through without having to resort to supplementing with formula.

I went back to work when Ben was almost 3 months old. I lugged my trusty pump to work every day - and still do. Day in and day out, I sequestered myself three times a day to pump. For a while, I was pumping in a spare office - thankfully, one with a lock on the door. When that office was taken over, I was moved to a different space for a while. Finally, I was sent to the IT storage closet - a very private space, again with a lock on the door, on a separate floor from our main office space. This was totally fine by me - the more private, the better!

Pumping was never my favorite pastime, but I did it (and do it) because I am determined. Because it was my goal from the start to breastfeed to at least a year, and avoid giving my baby formula if at all possible. I have absolutely nothing against those who choose to feed their babies formula (I was a formula baby), this was just my personal preference.

The one big obstacle I had was a recurrent plugged duct on my left side. In case you've never experienced this, let me just tell you - it hurts. Bad. Really bad. Oh, the pain. I think I had 3 or 4 recurrences of this. It seemed like, for a while there, I'd just about get it under control, and then it would plug back up again. Finally, I managed to get rid of it once and for all - though I lived in fear of it returning for many weeks afterwards. I panicked at every twinge, fearing the worst. Thankfully, I've managed to stay plug-free for several months now.

So for six months - from June until December - I fed Ben on demand any time I was with him and pumped three times a day at work. In early December, I had surgery, and I used my recovery time to drop down to two pumping sessions during the day (plus my first-thing-in-the-morning pumping session over breakfast). I kept that schedule up from mid-December until...today.

Tuesday was, inadvertently, the start of the next phase of the weaning process. We've already given Ben whole (cow's) milk twice - straight up, in his sippy cup. He drank it right down both times. I'd been planning to continue to pump twice a day while at work until the last week of his first year (next week!), when I would go down to once a day. Then I would cut out pumping altogether starting Monday the 14th. However, Tuesday morning, for some unknown reason, I simply forgot to pump. I have no idea why or how it happened, but it did. So I made the decision then and there to go ahead and cut it down to once a day. Wednesday, I sent a 50/50 mix of breastmilk and whole milk in his sippy cups - which meant he's now off bottles!

And today - just a couple hours ago - I pumped for the very last time (for this baby, anyway). I have enough freezer stash to continue to send the 50/50 mixture through next week. After it's gone, the only time Ben will get breastmilk is first thing in the morning or right before bed - I've decided to continue nursing him at those times, at least for the immediate future. I haven't made any decisions yet on how long that will continue. I'm going to play it by ear.

So there you go...our breastfeeding journey. If you made it this far, you deserve a prize!

Tonight, I held him and I cried

2011-02-01T19:55:00.004-06:00

Tonight, I held him tight. His fresh, clean hair, still wet from bathtime, pressed into my cheek. His breathing was the slow, rhythmic breath of a baby just fallen asleep. I held him in my lap, his legs so long, spilling off the side of the pillow. I remember when he was half this size, so tiny and compact. As he drifted off to sleep, I held him and a tear escaped. Where has my little baby gone? Who is this big (wonderful, sweet, loving, active, inquisitive, smiley) kid who has taken his place?

Tonight, I held him and I cried. Tears of sadness for my baby, who didn't keep. Tears of joy, for seeing the boy he will become. Tears of love, for being allowed to experience something so great.

Tonight, I held him and I cried.

Babies Don't Keep

2010-07-15T09:06:00.002-05:00

I hope that my child will look back on today
And see a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking
But children grow up while we're not looking.
Dusting and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow
For babies grow fast we learn to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm nursing my baby and babies don't keep.

One Year Ago Today...

2010-07-13T08:27:00.004-05:00

One year ago today, this is what I saw...

Then there was this...

Followed by this...

And now this!

I can't believe it's been a year since that positive pregnancy test! This past year has been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. But ultimately, I have the best gift ever to show for it - my beautiful son, Benjamin James.

4 months already?!

2010-07-08T10:30:00.007-05:00

My baby Benjamin...you turned 4 months old yesterday! These last four months have been incredible, amazing, a bit trying, but so wonderful. Daddy and I are working out our issues and learning how to be parents together, which isn't always easy. But you make it so worth it!

So, what are you up to these days?

*You looove chewing your hands. Can't get enough of them. I know you'd love it if you could just stuff that whole fist in your mouth.

*You're still exclusively breastfed, even though Mommy has been back at work for over a month now. I have to pump three times a day to make sure you get enough to eat, but so far, it's going well.

*You're generally a pretty good sleeper. We stopped swaddling you several weeks ago, and you didn't mind at all. You'll take naps in your crib, but I don't think either of us are ready for you to sleep there all night yet. Right now, you're still sleeping in the co-sleeper bassinet next to Mommy's side of the bed.

*You're a very happy baby! You love to smile, and I've gotten you to laugh a few times. You're still very stingy with the laughs, but the smiles come all the time now - even first thing in the morning. I love how you wake up happy!

*Daddy weighed you the other day on the bathroom scale, and we think you're close to 14 pounds. We'll find out for sure on Monday, at your 4-month appointment. You'll get more vaccinations then too. You did great with your 2-month shots, so I hope you do equally well this time.

*Your favorite thing to do is stand up. We still have to hold you steady, but your strong little legs can bare all your weight no problem.

*You hate tummy time, but we make you do it anyway. Your arms are still a bit weak, especially compared to your superbabylegs, but we're working on it. You've rolled over a few times, but I think it's just because you were on an uneven surface. Still waiting to see a real "rollover".

*You have your entire family wrapped around your finger. They all adore you, and why wouldn't they? You're the cutest baby ever! (Daddy and I agree on this).

I love you so much, Benjamin, and I truly enjoy watching you grow up and learn about the world around you.

Love,
Mommy

Dance Magic baby

2010-07-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

Dancing Baby Ben! We were watching The Labyrinth the other day, and Branden started making Ben dance. It was just too cute, so I got it on video...

Date night, and Ben laughing!

2010-06-20T17:49:00.009-05:00

This has been a big weekend! It started out last night, with our first date night since Ben was born. Branden really outdid himself for this one! He wouldn't tell me what we were doing, so I was in suspense for several weeks, wondering what he might have up his sleeve.

We started out with dinner, which we cooked at home. My mom was going to watch Ben for us, so Branden invited her to have dinner with us. He bought prime beef from the meat market down the street and we had steak, mashed potatoes (a joint effort between me and my mom, who finished them up while I fed Ben/got ready) and steamed squash (I made that).

Imagine my surprise when, just as I was about to go upstairs to get dressed, Pete and Rachel walked in the door!! I was so happy to see them. Yay for a double date!

So we all ate dinner (delicious - Branden did a great job with the steak!). Then we headed out to catch the train. Branden did a fake out and we almost got off at the Deep Ellum station, but when we sat back down, I knew exactly where we were going. Fair Park Station...Music Hall...

Yesssss! I was so excited to finally see Wicked for the first time. And it was everything I hoped (and had heard) it would be! Loved it!!! And even better to get to see it with friends.

On the way home, the guys stopped for ice cream while Rachel and I went back to the loft to relieve my mom (it was awfully late!). After she left, I fed Ben while everyone else ate their ice cream and talked. (I did, eventually, get to eat my ice cream too). It was a great night!

And today has been a great day as well. Ben and I went shopping for some dinner items to make Branden a special Father's Day dinner. When we got back, we were playing together on the couch, and I noticed he was in a really good mood. I hopped up to get the camera, and this is the result: Ben laughing video [Note: I can't get the embed code to work right, so you'll have to click the link and go to youtube - sorry about that!]

Branden's home now, so I'm going to spend a few hours with him on his first Father's Day!

I have two blogs

2010-05-25T09:40:00.005-05:00

Just as I blogged on Pregosaur during my pregnancy, I am now blogging on the sister blog, Littlesaur, about my experiences raising baby Benjamin. I'm Citysaur on those blogs, and I've already posted my introduction on Littlesaur.

So yeah - me, who's not the best at keeping up a blog to begin with, has committed to two blogs. I want to keep this blog up, because I still need an outlet for things that may not be baby-related, or things that are more personal that I don't necessarily want to share on a national blog.

Like this.

I attended a funeral yesterday at DFW National Cemetery, and of course I couldn't leave without stopping by to see Wayne. It was the first time I'd taken Benjamin, and I won't lie. It was really, really difficult. I just can't get it out of my head that this isn't how it was supposed to be.

Ben Update

2010-05-08T03:09:00.009-05:00

That's my little cutie! We call this "SuperBaby with his Crimefighting Pacifier".

So last entry, I mentioned that Ben had a cough. Well, it did turn out to be something - RSV, or Respiratory Syncytial Virus. Other than the cough, and maybe being a little sleepier than normal (and when is that a bad thing?!), Ben isn't showing many ill effects from this virus, though. We went back to the pediatrician on Wednesday, and she sent us home with a nebulizer for breathing treatments. Ben does not like them! Have you ever tried to hold an oxygen mask on a squirming infant? Yeah...not easy. So we faithfully gave him his treatments, and went back today. He's making a good recovery, and we're just supposed to keep up with the treatments and keep him hydrated. The virus should work its way out of his system in a week or two.

Also on Wednesday, Ben had his hearing test. For this test, we were led into a soundproof testing room. I sat in a glider with Ben on my lap, and the audiologist hooked up electrodes on his head - two on his forehead, and one behind each ear. She started with his left ear, and ran a whole series of click and sound tests with a computer, which gave her readouts of his brainwave response. I had to stay absolutely still (so he wouldn't wake up) and completely silent. My mom was in the room with us, and afterwards she said she wasn't sure how I did it! Halfway through, I turned him around and she tested the other ear. The whole thing took about 90 minutes.

The results were basically good. He didn't show any neurological hearing damage. He showed a little bit of conductive hearing loss, but she said that's likely due to fluid in his ears - could be fluid still leftover from birth, or fluid due to the RSV. We're bringing him back in to repeat the test in early June. If he passes that, then all is well. If not, then we'll be referred to an ENT for further testing. Either way, it's likely something that will either fix itself or can be fixed. Definitely good news, and such a relief!!

On the childcare front, we're hopefully working out a plan. We put in our application last November for the only independent/non-church-affiliated daycare center in downtown Dallas. We really, really like the place. We put all our eggs in that one basket. Of course, it's all dependent on timing, and when spots open up. Since there are only 8 spots in the infant room, it can be a waiting game. And that's what it has turned into for us. We're currently second in line on the waiting list - which means 2 kids have to leave the infant room (usually, to head to the toddler room, which they do around 1 year of age) before Ben will get a spot. At first, we weren't sure when exactly that would be. But after a frank conversation with the daycare director, wherein I told him that we were definitely interested in using their center, and we would be taking a spot as soon as it opened, he let me know that we're probably looking at mid to late July. So that's 6 or 8 weeks of a temporary situation. And we think we may have it figured out.

Branden will be switching shifts when I go back to work. He'll go to C shift, which works Fri-Mon, 10 AM - 9 PM. He'll be off Tues-Thurs, so he'll be with Ben those days. That just leaves Friday and Monday to figure out, assuming I work my typical workweek. My mom is off on Fridays, and she has agreed to watch Ben then. So for Mondays, I'm working with my boss/management to see if I might be able to work from home...or if I might just have to take that day off unpaid for a while. No word yet on how that will turn out, but I think we'll be able to figure it out, one way or another. So there's our plan!

It actually works out pretty well. I think it will be easier for me to go back to work (in 3 weeks - whoa) knowing that Ben will be with family for a while. Branden will get to spend a good amount of time with Ben, which he hasn't gotten to do much yet, thanks to working full-time and taking 4 graduate classes this semester. (Thankfully, the semester is over next week). My mom will get to spend some quality time with Ben, which I think she will enjoy (or at least, I hope so!). By the time he does go to daycare, he'll be almost five months old, and ready for some socialization with other babies. The only downside to the situation is that I won't get to spend much time with Branden for a while. We'll be working exactly opposite schedules, and won't have any days off together. If he takes a class over the summer (he's still working that out), then it would be Tues/Thurs evenings for five weeks - so during that time, I would only have one evening a week to see him. But, it's all temporary, and I have to remind myself that plenty of couples work opposite schedules (my sister-in-law and her husband, for example) and they manage to make it work. So I know we can too. Once Ben's in daycare, Branden will switch back to his regular shift, and we'll all have more time together. (And hopefully, once he graduates, either this summer or in December, he'll find a super-awesome professional planner job, and then he'll have real workday hours).

Phew...I had no idea this post was going to turn into a novel! I guess I had a lot to get out! Here's one more picture of our little munchkin...showing off his new talent, smiling! We don't get to see this very often...but it sure is a great reminder of what we're doing all this for. He is so worth it!

Today, I am not going to worry

2010-05-04T12:20:00.003-05:00

Today, I am not going to worry...

About all the baby weight I still need to lose...or the weight I have to lose on top of that. 50 pounds in all.

About the call I need to make to my insurance company, to sort out various claims from Ben's birth.

About the ABR hearing test Ben has tomorrow, where we'll finally get the answers we've been waiting 6 weeks for.

About the cough Ben has, that I just took him to the pediatrician for. Okay, maybe I'll worry a little, but only if his blood test comes back with less-than-positive results.

About the fact that we don't have childcare lined up for when I return to work. We're second on the waiting list, but I found out yesterday it's unlikely we'll get a spot by June 1st, the day I'm scheduled to go back.

Today, I am not going to worry. I am just going to take care of my son, and myself, and relax on the couch with a good book, and maybe later, a movie. Today, I'm taking the day off from worries.

I'm sure they'll be waiting for me tomorrow.

A day in the life...

2010-04-22T09:00:00.003-05:00

I have to give Stay-at-home Moms props. When they say being a mother is a full time job, they really aren't kidding! Here's a sample of what my morning has been like so far, starting with going to bed last night.

10:00 PM: Swaddle the baby, put him in the bassinet next to our bed.
10:05 PM: Baby won't sleep in bassinet. Bring him over next to me into our bed so I can get some sleep.
12:30 AM: Wake up. Take baby over to chair. Attempt to nurse. Baby won't wake up to eat. Go back to bed.
3:00 AM: Baby wakes up - TIME TO EAT. Change diaper, then go back to chair, nurse for 30 or 40 minutes.
4:00 AM: Try to put baby to sleep in bassinet.
4:15 AM: Baby finally falls to sleep in bassinet.
5:40 AM: Alarm goes off to wake Branden up. We talk briefly. Baby wakes up.
5:45 AM: Branden gets baby back to sleep in bassinet.
5:50 AM: Baby wakes up. I scoop him up and bring him to sleep next to me.
7:00 AM: Baby wakes up. TIME TO EAT! Put contacts in, go to bathroom, then feed baby.
7:35 AM: Hook baby up in bouncy seat so I can take a shower.
7:50 AM: Showered and dressed. Bring baby downstairs.
7:55 AM: Change diaper in baby's room.
7:57 AM: Baby poops in new diaper.
7:58 AM: Change diaper. In middle of diaper change, baby pees all over changing table and wall, and also manages to get diaper mess on his stomach.
8:00 AM: Haul naked, screaming baby into bathroom, holding him away from me so I don't get covered in pee. Put baby in bath chair, put bath chair in shower. Go get baby shampoo and towel.
8:01 AM: Give baby a bath.
8:05 AM: Rinse screaming baby off (he doesn't like the bath). Wrap him in towel and calm him down.
8:07 AM: Grab diaper, onesie, and portable changing pad and change/dress baby on the couch, since changing table is still covered in pee.
8:10 AM: Put baby in swing. Grab cleaning supplies and wipe down changing pad (and wall).
8:15 AM: Gather breast pump parts. Bring computer to table to watch TV on computer.
8:17 AM: Start pumping.
8:27 AM: Finish pumping. Clean supplies.
8:30 AM: Put waffles in toaster oven.
8:35 AM: Finally sit down to eat breakfast, after being awake nearly two hours.
9:00 AM: Write blog about crazy morning.

And now, of course, the baby is happily sleeping in the swing, and I'm exhausted, but too alert to go to sleep. So I'll publish this blog, and then finish watching my show. Maybe after that I can take a nap? We'll see...

Ben's First Month

2010-04-08T20:06:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since Ben was born...and I haven't blogged once since my announcement post on the 14th! I figured since we're approaching the one month mark, I should write a little about how the first month has been. Let's see how much I can remember!

On March 13th, when Ben was a mere 3 days old, we went to my Mom's house for our big friends and family Shower/Party extravaganza! Technically, I wasn't supposed to leave the house (or even be out of bed) according to my midwife's orders, but we had a bunch of family in town to meet Ben, not to mention all the friends who were planning on attending the shower. So off we went! Here's Ben, dressed and ready to go:

The party was so much fun (if a little exhausting), and we were blessed with so many great gifts. And I finally finished the thank you notes today!

The first week and a half of Ben's life was all about...doctor's appointments! We started off a 1-day appt with the pediatrician (who we love - so glad we made a good choice there). Branden took Ben to that one alone. On Friday, March 12th, our midwife stopped by our loft for a home visit. Monday the 15th, Ben had another routine pedi appt (his one-week visit). He was looking pretty yellow at that point, so they did a blood test to check his bilirubin levels. Turns out, they were very high, so they sent over some phototherapy equipment to help his body break down the bilirubin.

Tuesday the 16th, a follow-up appt at the pedi's office...then over to Baylor to get a blood test done to see if the phototherapy was working (it was). Here's Branden and Ben, waiting to see the doctor...

Wednesday, another pedi appointment and another blood test at Baylor - the results there were great, he was basically in the clear at that point! But of course we weren't done with appointments yet, as we had a 10-day appointment at the Birth Center to go to still (which was actually an 8-day follow-up). That was an easy one - they just took his weight, asked how we were doing, and then put his footprints up on the wall (and in our baby book). I need to remember to get a picture of that when I go back for my 6-week check up!

Things went much more smoothly after that week. It took Ben a while to get his days and nights sorted out, but we're doing pretty well with that now. We were also fighting with getting him to sleep in the bassinet - he just wouldn't do it, no matter what we tried. So for a few nights, we were doing whatever we could just to get him to sleep at night - including one night when I slept in the recliner with him on my chest. I finally had an epiphany when I saw how well he took to swaddling during his newborn photo session. We had been given a SwaddleMe wrap as a gift, but I hadn't thought to use it on him at night. That turned out to be the key to getting him to sleep anywhere other than in our arms or next to us! He just needed to feel like he was being held.

The rest of the month has been filled with great visitors, a few trips to my mom's house, and many walks around downtown and trips to the grocery store. Ben absolutely loves being in the Baby Bjorn carrier, and he loves it best with Daddy.

On the 27th, we took a trip to downtown Fort Worth to have dinner with some friends and Branden's parents, who were in town for a dog show. We rode the TRE - here's Mommy and Ben, enjoying the ride:

Branden and I are starting to get the hang of this parenting thing. I know that many, many more challenges await us, and there will always be something new for us to figure out, so I don't want to sound overconfident. I'm merely pleased that things are going much more smoothly than they did those first couple of weeks!

I'll try to be a better blogger and update more frequently. But with an infant around, I make no promises! :)

Meet Baby Benjamin!

2010-03-14T15:56:00.006-05:00

Introducing Benjamin James, aka Baby Citysaur. Born 3/10/10 at 6:24 PM. Weighing in at 7 lbs 15oz, 20 1/4 inches long.

I mentioned in my last post on Pregosaur that our midwife wanted us to kick start labor on Wednesday...well kick start we certainly did! We started out at 8:45 AM with her stripping my membranes. Then we did some nipple stimulation and took an hour power walk. At 11:30 AM, the midwife broke my water. We did more walking as we went out to have lunch and gather our bags at home, then back to the birth center. By the time we arrived back at the birth center at 1:30 PM, I was having contractions that were 2 minutes apart and was most definitely in labor!

Not the most flattering picture of me, but here we are, in the early part of active labor, just after arriving at the birth center. I did not look this good as the day progressed!

I won't go into the whole, explicitly detailed birth story, but I'll summarize from here. I labored for about 3 hours before pushing, exploring various positions including the birth ball, the shower, the tub, and hanging off the bedpost. About 4:30 or so, I went to the bathroom at the suggestion of the birth assistant, and I started to feel the urge to push. Pushing lasted about two hours, and was the most exhausting part of the experience. The only downside to not going into spontaneous labor was that Ben hadn't quite descended, so I had to work extra hard at getting him down. That part was difficult, because every time I'd make progress during a contraction, he'd slip back when I went to rest in between.

Eventually, after pushing for a while in the tub and hanging off the bedpost, I got into the bed to conserve energy. I almost had to go back to the bedpost, but when I realized they were about to make me get out of bed, I gave it everything I had, and he began to crown. And that's when things got serious.

Ben came out with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck. He was fine until right at the end, when his heart rate plummeted. When the midwife looked at me and said that we had to get him out now, and that I had to push without the help of a contraction, I knew she meant business. Even though I was beyond the point of exhaustion, I found the strength to get him out fast. They cut and clamped the cord from around his neck as soon as he crowned, and then a few pushes later, he was born. Daddy got to catch him, and he put Ben on my belly, but a split second later, the midwife whisked him away to the resuscitation table to work on him. He was born in distress - white as a sheet, depressed heart rate, elevated breathing and low body temperature. Daddy helped the midwife, and after 45 long minutes, he was finally up to snuff. They placed him on my belly and I fell in love!

Family portrait...that's my mom (Ben's Nana) in the pink, and Wayne in the picture. He couldn't be with us physically, but he was definitely there in spirit!

For more pictures, check out our Shutterfly site - click here.

Update...

2010-03-09T13:02:00.001-06:00

On the Pregosaur blog. I'm lazy and didn't feel like posting it twice. :o)

Big Baby?

2010-03-03T13:56:00.001-06:00

My midwife suspects that I'm growing a large baby. Hopefully not quite as large as the statue above, however.

Yesterday I had my 37-week check-up. According to some sources, I'm now officially full term. Other sources prefer to call that near term, and peg actual full term at 38 weeks. Either way you look at it, I'm pretty darn close to having this baby. And if you listen to my midwife, he's pretty much ready to come out!

Now, I do take this with a grain of salt, because any estimate of fetal size is a guess - perhaps an educated one, but still a guess. But yesterday at my appointment, after palpating my uterus rather extensively, the midwife told me she thinks Baby Ben is already approaching 8 lbs. We have a growth ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow afternoon - but again, I've heard plenty of stories of people who were told after an u/s they were going to have a large baby, and the baby ended up weighing 1-2 lbs less at birth than what they were told.

So, I'm staying calm and not getting up in arms about it. I'm going for the ultrasound, and am actually pretty excited about it. We've only had one other, and I honestly thought that would be it. So we're excited to get to see our son (and, you know, double check that he really is our son) one last time before delivery.

Due date is three weeks from today, and if this large baby thing is true, they'd like to see me go early rather than late. I wouldn't mind that either way, honestly. But since we're using a birth center, they won't be inducing any time soon. So it's still a waiting game, either way. Come on, (Big?) Ben! We want to meet you!

A Shared Pain

2010-02-24T03:34:00.004-06:00

Last night, I watched Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette perform a courageous short program, just two days after her mother unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack.

It was too much for me to take. Because I know her pain.

I may not be an Olympic figure skater. But that look on her face when she finished her skate, as she was overcome with emotion - I know that pain.

And I know all too well the feeling of going through something so huge and wishing, wanting with all your heart, that you could share it with that parent who sacrificed so much for you.

But it's just not meant to be. So you go on, you forge ahead. Because that's all you can do.

There's irony in our situations, me and Joannie. Terrible, painful irony. Joannie would not have made it to the Olympics if her mother hadn't sacrificed so much for her dreams of being a champion. And I wouldn't be four weeks away from having my first baby if I hadn't found out last summer that my father was dying of cancer.

I so desperately wanted him to meet his grandson. We pushed up our timeline on having a baby because we wanted that so badly. And oh, how he tried to make that happen for us. Up until just a couple of weeks before he died, Wayne was still talking about how he was determined to stick around so he could hold his grandbaby.

I told him, a week or so before he died, that it was okay. We all knew his time was near, and I told him it was okay that he couldn't stick around. We'd be okay, me and Branden and the baby.

And we will be. Because we have to be. What other choice is there? But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, when I feel this child move inside me and think how very much Wayne would've enjoyed this time. When I think about the moment my mom enters the room to meet her grandson for the first time, and how Wayne should've been there too.

And so, while I might not be an Olympic figure skater, I know the pain Joannie is experiencing. And I feel for her. My heart goes out to her. That is a pain I don't wish on anyone.

My heart also goes out to my friend Serena, who lost her mother to the evil that is cancer over the weekend. Serena, I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. I know too well the heartache you are dealing with, and I wish you didn't have to go through it.

Nursery Pictures!!

2010-02-14T20:25:00.010-06:00

I spent a good part of the day working on the nursery, and it's basically finished now! We still have a few odds and ends to get, and we'll probably hang some more pictures on the wall at some point, but for the most part, it's done! Here are the pictures...

The wall across from the door...here you can see the crib, the color block painting we did, the letters I painted and hung over the crib, the glider/ottoman, and the hanging stuffed animal display to the right.

Close up of the crib. Only thing missing here is the crib skirt, which my mom is making out of some old curtains she originally made for my dorm room in college. Turns out M&Ms fabric is now considered "vintage" (I'm guessing there was a big clamp-down on unlicensed M&M stuff) and is verrry expensive now. Lucky we already had some!

A close-up of the stuffed animal storage. I got this years ago from IKEA, but this is the first time it's been used. I put a few Easter goodies in there for now (Snoopy and a couple of Easter M's)...then we have a stuffed Sneetch, and finally, in the bottom two slots, Ben's first stuffed toys of his own that we've been given as gifts.

Close-up of the glider corner. The blanket behind Clifford is a Peanuts blanket I used as a kid. The colors matched, so I decided to put it out. On the shelf, we have some plush M&Ms, a really cute handmade lunchbox I got from a friend at our shower, some posable M&Ms, a little train toy, and the stuffed Moose from If You Give a Moose a Muffin. Clifford, Sneetches, the Moose...can you tell we're a literary bunch? My mom's a librarian, and when I was growing up she was a children's librarian - so she instilled in me a love for good children's literature.

The blank corner where our changing table/dresser will go. It's currently being handmade by Ben's GranPoppy (Branden's dad). They'll bring it up next month.

The wall opposite the crib - just to the right of the main door. We have an M&Ms cuckoo clock, some dispensers, a shelf of children's books, and on the bottom, some socks and bibs that are waiting for the dresser, the bumbo, and the hamper. And if you look very closely, in the middle on the top shelf, you'll see a clay sculpture. It's a star-bellied sneetch dancing with a plain-bellied sneetch, and Wayne sculpted it for me. I figured it would be nice for Ben to have something of his grandfather in the room.

The wall we didn't paint - because it's taken up by this huge door, which leads to bathroom/closet/utility room.

Close-up of the crib.

And finally, the floor covering - a patchwork of four different rugs I found online.

So there you have it - a tour of our nursery!

Stolen

2010-02-10T22:09:00.013-06:00

My debit card number, that is! Here's the story...

Sunday morning, Branden and I went out to buy groceries. When I attempted to pay with my debit card, it was declined. Branden paid for our groceries, and we came home, wondering what would cause my card to be declined.

After unloading the groceries, we logged on to our accounts online and boy, was I in for a shock! There at the top of the detail on my account were four strange charges that I knew nothing about - three to DHL totaling over $2200, and another to usps.com for $4.75.

Initially, I was in shock. Of course I'd heard of this happening, but didn't this always happen to someone else? A friend of a friend, someone a coworker knows, etc. But it was actually happening to me? Wow.

I immediately called my bank's customer support number. Here is where I have to brag on Chase and their fraud department. They never questioned me about the fraudulent charges. They had even already added a fraud alert to my account before I called - apparently the thief tried a fourth charge at DHL for over $900, but that one didn't go through. (Seriously - who spends over $3000 at DHL? What are they shipping, and to where?)

I spent about fifteen minutes on the phone with the fraud department, and they completely took care of me. The representative gave me a number to call back as soon as the charges actually hit my account (they were still pending) so that a credit could be issued. They also gave me a number to get in touch with DHL (that was a laugh...more on that in a minute!).

On Tuesday morning, I logged on to my account, and it was like it had never happened! All four fraudulent charges were completely gone, and everything looked great. The good news in all of this is that they only got my debit card number - so my actual account is still safe, as are our other accounts (savings and Branden's checking). I was issued a new debit card, which I should get in a few more days. Hopefully, this is all behind me.

Oh, except for the DHL part. I called their customer support line, and they said in order to get in touch with the fraud department, I had to e-mail them with my contact information. So I did, on Sunday. I have yet to hear from them! Good thing Chase is taking care of me, because they certainly aren't!

So to recap:

Credit card fraud stinks.

Yay for Chase!
Boo on DHL.

Nursery Sneak Peek

2010-02-10T22:01:00.005-06:00

We started work on painting the nursery last weekend. For a full detail of what we plan on doing with the room, check out my latest post on Pregosaur.

I'm going to hold off on any "results" pictures until we get a few more things up on the wall, but here are a few sneak peeks to tide you over...

Branden taping off our design:

The letters that will go over the crib, painted in the same colors as our wall design:

The painting is all done, and the tape is down. I must say, I absolutely love what we did! I hope to make some more progress this weekend, so stay tuned for more pictures!

32 weeks, and all is well!

2010-01-29T14:50:00.007-06:00

I figured it was high time for an update here, since I haven't posted in almost three weeks! I'm 32 weeks pregnant now. The picture above was taken on Wednesday. What's been going on lately? Well...

Last Saturday, we had our first baby shower!!! It was sooo much fun! By the end of the day, my face hurt from smiling so much. We got tons of great gifts, and had a blast with all the friends who were there. After the shower, we went out to dinner with my mom, and she gave us even more clothes! Here's Ben's closet now:

He had maybe a third of that before the shower on Saturday. And every single thing is just so stinkin' cute...I can't wait to dress my son in these adorable outfits!

Wednesday the 27th was Wayne's birthday. Not a good day. Very emotional. After a long, trying day at work, I went to visit his plaque at the cemetery and had a good talk with him. I really miss him...the sound of his voice...his laugh...and I try to think of what he would say if he were still here. I hope I'm making him proud. I know he'd enjoy watching me get bigger and bigger. We talked a lot about the baby before he passed away, and I know he was so excited for us. I suspect he's still watching, and is still excited. Even though Ben will never get to meet his Grandpa Wayne, he's going to know alllll about him!

I got a good surprise today...and haven't even gotten to see it yet. I got a phone call from the Fed Ex delivery guy saying that I had a large package, and asking if I was home to receive it. Unfortunately, I wasn't. He then told me it looked like a mattress, and was from Babies R Us! Aww, a surprise delivery off of our registry! I had him deliver it to our doorstep, and then got hold of Branden so he could run home and put it inside. Of course, he put it in the crib. I can't wait to see it! Now we have something to put those mattress sheets on that we got at the shower!

Not very exciting, but there's a picture of the mattress from the Babies R Us listing.

Oh, and our mystery gifter? It was my mom! Thanks, Nana!!!

Makin' cookies

2010-01-05T18:48:00.014-06:00

On New Year's Eve, I spent the afternoon making cookies. From scratch. I never, ever do this. But I really wanted to make a special present for my mom for our extended family gift exchange (I'd drawn her name).

I chose Paula Deen's White Chocolate Cherry Chunkies, because I knew my mom liked white chocolate macadamia nut cookies and pretty much anything by Paula Deen. I bought the ingredients before Christmas, so that on New Year's Eve, all I had to worry about was the actual baking.

Somewhere along the line, I got the bright idea that I should make a double batch. I have no idea why I decided to do that, but I did...and so I ended up making 53 huge cookies. No matter - I had plenty left over after my mom's gift to give them as a gift to a friend and also share some with Branden's co-workers (who I hear loved them). And we still have a few left here at home.

So without further ado, here is the recipe, illustrated and annotated with my pictures and comments.

White Chocolate Cherry Chunkies
Cook time: 15 minutes (that does NOT include prep time!)
Level: Easy (ha!)
Yield: 4 dozen (um, yeah...I should've read this before I decided on a double-batch)

Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons milk
1 cup chopped macadamia nuts
1/2 cup candied cherries
1 1/2 cups white chocolate chunks

Here's my mise en place:

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. (Well, it starts out easy enough.)

Decided to go ahead and chunk up my white chocolate and set that aside...

That's an awful lot of white chocolate.

Holy moly...two bowls full?!
This is my first hint that maybe a double batch was more than I bargained for.

In a medium bowl, with electric mixer (hey, I can do one better - I just got a new stand mixer for Christmas!), cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until just combined. Set aside.

Sift together flour, soda, and salt. (When no sifter is handy, substitute collander...right?)

Add milk to the butter mixture and then add the flour mixture. (Oops...got a little messy here!)

Mix until just combined. Batter should be stiff.

In another bowl, combine nuts, cherries, and white chocolate. Then add to batter, stirring only to blend. Drop by heaping tablespoons onto a greased cookie sheet (I used parchment paper instead), 2 inches apart.

Bake for approximately 11 to 13 minutes. (Mine were so big, I baked them for 15 minutes per batch).

Cool on wire rack. (That part, I can handle).

Then, just try to resist them. I did pretty well...I only ate one.

Once cooled, arrange cookies into an attractive Christmas tin, and tape the recipe on the inside of the lid, so Mom can see that you made Paula Deen cookies from scratch! (Okay, so that part isn't actually in the recipe.)

And of course the best part...soak up Mom's raves when she opens her homemade cookies at the family Christmas celebration! I must say, I really enjoyed the whole process of making these cookies, even if it did take over two hours, start to finish, and my feet were absolutely killing me by the time all was said and done. (But maybe that had something to do with the fact that I'm seven months pregnant? Perhaps.)

You are what you read?

2009-12-30T12:29:00.006-06:00

I've always thought that the books a person reads are an interesting insight into their personality. This blog post by my friend Smash over at Great Books and Fresh Coffee really got me thinking. What has my 2009 reading list looked like?

Now, there has been some pleasure reading mixed in with all of this...but just take a look:

The bible of fertility...I actually recommend this for any woman who wants to really know about how their body works. I was amazed at how much I learned about female fertility that I didn't know until I read the book! There actually is a natural fertility method explained in the book, which involves charting your waking temperatures and following other fertility signs so that you can actually know when you ovulate. With help from the website Fertility Friend, I charted for three months - two months to avoid, and then we were able to get pregnant the first month we tried. All because of what I learned from this book.

So of course, after finding out that I was "with child" (that term cracks me up for some reason), I had to find out what to expect from this crazy ride called pregnancy. Great book, and I plan on picking it back up soon to read the final section on the third trimester, now that I'm there.

A great (and very comprehensive book) not only on how to save money on baby gear but also with a wealth of information on what you do and don't need, what products are worth the money, which ones are reasonable extravagances, and so on. Tons of great reviews - I would've been lost trying to create a baby registry without this book.

Another book that came highly recommended for information on baby products. I enjoyed some of the reviews, but I didn't rely on this one as much as Baby Bargains, surprisingly. Still a good reference tool, though.

And my latest read, which I just started a few days ago. I realized about a week ago that in just a few months, we're going to have a baby, and I really need to start learning what I should expect from this amazing creature.

Interestingly enough, I rarely actually buy books - and almost never for full price. As the daughter of a librarian, I make heavy use of my library card. But I have purchased each and every one of these books, and I'm glad I did - they're all excellent reference tools, and I find myself constantly referring back to many of them.

December, in pictures

2009-12-27T18:49:00.007-06:00

I just uploaded a whole batch of pictures from my camera, so I figured a picture post was in order.

First up - Wayne's plaque at the DFW National Cemetery. We visited on 12/13, after we finished up our anniversary celebration.

Branden took this picture of me talking to Wayne.

On 12/19, my aunt and uncle came to town, and one of our stops was NorthPark Mall, to see the holiday decorations made of pecans. My uncle saw these decorations when he was a little kid. :o)

Here's a picture of our Christmas tree, after we finished wrapping presents to take to Midland.

Branden, in the living room at his parents' house in Midland. They're all about Christmas!

Haley opening up the DART Bus from "Uncle B". She always plays with his when she comes over - now she has one of her own!

Rae and I each got one of these nifty grabber things. But the boys had much more fun with them. Here's Taylor, feeding Rae a cookie.

A picture of the pregnant ladies! I'm at 27 weeks, Rae's 16 weeks.

And last but not least, today Branden put together the adorable baby swing we got from Rae & Taylor!

So special

2009-12-22T11:30:00.004-06:00

On Sunday, Branden and I went to my mom's house to have our Christmas. We watched both Home Alones, listened to some Christmas music, and ate some really yummy chili.

After opening presents, she told Branden and I that she had something for each of us from Wayne. For Branden, it was Wayne's signet ring, a beautiful gold ring with a square opal stone flanked by two small diamonds, with a gold "H" on top. He put it on, and it fits perfectly.

For me, she told me that when she went through Wayne's papers after he died, she found a list of people he wanted to write letters to. But she didn't find a single letter, save one which he had just begun...to me.

I think the letter says it all...so I'll leave you with that.

I miss you, Wayne. And I love you so, so much.

First Anniversary Celebration!

2009-12-15T10:30:00.009-06:00

Hard to believe, but it's already been a year since Branden and I were married!

We celebrated on Saturday, since our anniversary fell on a Monday this year, and who wants to celebrate on a Monday?! We started off the evening with a trust walk. That's right - I walked, blindfolded, all the way from our apartment to the other end of downtown. I knew we were going to a hotel, but I had no idea which one - and this way Branden was able to keep it a surprise until we were inside the lobby.

He made a very, very good choice...the newly opened aloft hotel in downtown. Another successful building rehab (this one a former railroad depot/warehouse) by Hamilton Properties. Branden's kind of tight with the elder Hamilton, Larry, who once told Branden over dinner "My apologies to your wife, but I think we might be soulmates." (I am not making this up, folks!).

After checking into the hotel and spending some time in our fabulous room (with a view of City Hall), we headed out to dinner, which was my treat. After my original plan fell through, we headed to Twisted Root Burger Co., the site of our rehearsal dinner. And just as happened the night we were there for the rehearsal dinner, when we arrived, the TVs were tuned in to the Heisman Trophy award ceremony. We didn't get to see it awarded to Sam Bradford this year, but it was still cool to see such an uncanny parallel! We may have to start making it our yearly tradition.

I was even able to stick to my protein-and-veggies plan, thanks to Twisted Root's Burger-in-a-Bowl, which I've enjoyed on more than one occasion. The buffalo patty is quite delicious atop a bed of greens, I must say!

After dinner, we headed back to the hotel and had an enjoyable night with no responsibilities - Branden had arranged for neighbors to walk our dogs for us, so we were able to just relax and enjoy ourselves.

The next morning we stopped by our old standby, Urban Cafe, for breakfast. After some down time, we headed to the cemetary to see Wayne (his plaque is finally up), and then to my mom's house. Branden put together a piece of furniture for her, then hooked up her new Wii! And then she beat us both at Wii Bowling. I hear she's still bragging about it. ;o)

All in all, a VERY good weekend!

Fun Shopping Day

2009-12-09T21:12:00.007-06:00

This past Sunday, my mom and I had a nice day full of shopping and mother-daughter time. We started off at the mall. After Sears and another quick stop, we headed up to Motherhood Maternity. I needed to pick up a couple things, and my mom surprised me by telling me that she was going to pay for whatever I bought! And then, she made me buy even more than I had planned on getting! I ended up with 3 new shirts, a new sweater, and a really nice new purple pea coat - one that actually buttons around my belly!

After we left the mall, we made the trek up to Frisco to visit Ikea. Mom had several pieces of furniture she wanted to pick up (and of course she had checked them all out online first!). We started off walking through the showroom. Before heading down to pick up the furniture, we stopped by the restaurant for a late lunch. Mom had the Swedish meatballs (and they were yum - I know because I helped her out a little!) and I had a chicken caesar salad and a bowl of fruit. Bellies full, we headed down to pick up the furniture. I didn't leave the store empty-handed, mind you. I found a couple of pillow covers for the pillows on the couch, so that they now coordinate with the slip-covered couch in our living room. And I couldn't resist buying a few packs of cute, multi-colored kid's clothes hangers. I'm sure those will come in handy soon!

After all that shopping, we headed back to Arlington, unloaded the car, and settled on to my mom's new sectional sofa to watch some figure skating. Perfect end to a great day with one of my favorite people in the whole world!

In other news, Branden and I finally got the Christmas tree and decorations up last night, at his urging. I was ready to just not bother with it, but I'm really glad he insisted. It looks great, and I had a good time hanging ornaments with him and listening to John Denver & the Muppets singing Christmas songs (only the best Christmas CD ever!).

Tonight was Branden's last final for the semester, so he's officially done until January! Four more classes down. I must confess, I am so very proud of him and all the hard work he's putting into this degree. I know it's for all of us and our future, and I just can't express enough how much it means to me that he's devoting so much time and energy to getting this degree.

And last but certainly not least, the baby seems to be doing well! Since being put on the low-carb diet by my midwife, I've lost at least 2 lbs - and yes, that's a good thing! Ben's kicking up a storm, and I just love feeling him all the time now.

Here I am just a few minutes ago. Twenty-five weeks pregnant today! And I'm wearing my new sweater also. :o)

I've Grown!

2009-12-02T18:46:00.007-06:00

Just for fun, I thought it might be interesting to compare my 21 week picture with my 24 week picture, especially since I'm essentially wearing the same outfit. Here I am 3 weeks ago, at 21 weeks:

And here I am today, at 24 weeks:

I don't know about you, but I can definitely tell a difference!

According to Babycenter.com, our little Benjamin is about a foot long right now, and weighs a little over a pound! He seems to be growing well, and he's kicking up a storm these days - though still not really strong enough for Branden to feel, except for one little kick he barely felt last week.

Childbirth class is going well. We have our third session (of 8) this Saturday. We've already gotten a lot of good relaxation techniques to use, and I'm sure we'll learn lots more before all is said and done. Our checkups with the midwife at the Birth Center are going really well - I really love both of the midwives, and will be happy to have either one assist us with our birth! I did get a bit of a talking to at the last appointment - I'm gaining weight a little too quickly, so I've been put on a low-carb diet full of protein and veggies and told to exercise every day. So far I'm doing pretty well, and I'm already starting to feel better as a result of my healthier eating and increased exercise. Amazing how that works!

That's it for now...except that I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Saturday is the Adolphus Children's Parade here in downtown, which I'm hoping to catch a little bit of before we have to take off for class. Sunday I'm having a mother-daughter day with my mom - we're going shopping and lunching. Can't wait!

Date Night!

2009-11-24T09:00:00.004-06:00

Last Friday night, Branden took me out on a date! We got all dressed up and headed out to City Lights, the official start of the holidays in downtown Dallas. We watched the (cheesy, scripted, but still fun) unveiling of the Neiman Marcus lights and windows first. The windows this year, I must say, are very cool. They actually have a tube running all through them that kids can climb through and be a part of the display! That part is only open select hours on the weekends until Christmas week, but the display itself is on most of the time - and if you're in the area, you must check it out! It's all about alternate sources of energy as imagined by kids - everything from dance energy to energy being squeezed out of grapes by monkeys! Kids are great. :o)

After checking out the Neiman Marcus to-do, we headed down to the new Main Street Garden park, right across the street from our loft building, and watched the lighting of the official downtown Christmas tree. The park is not quite finished yet, but it's officially open to the public now, and we're excited to have such a good park right across the street from us!

After all the City Lights fun, Branden took me out to dinner at Dallas Fish Market!
This is the kind of restaurant we hardly ever get to go to, so it was a really nice treat! We both started with the Main Lobster Corn Chowder. For our main courses, I had the New Bedford Mass. Scallops (delish!), and Branden had the Black Truffle Wrapped Chilean Sea Bass. We shared sides of sauteed spinach and butternut squash risotto with cambazola. It was all fantastically delicious, and a very special evening. We finished out the night by picking up some ice cream at 7-11 and heading home to watch Star Trek on DVD.

In baby news, we have a check-up with our midwife this afternoon. So far everything seems to be going well. I'm getting bigger, as I should be, and Ben's kicks are getting stronger. I even felt a couple last night from outside my belly - which means hopefully it won't be too much longer before Branden will be able to feel them as well!

He is Gone

2009-11-19T07:00:00.006-06:00

Yesterday we held the interment service at DFW National Cemetery to finally lay Wayne to rest. He was cremated, and his ashes now have a home in a memorial wall amongst fellow veterans.

The service was simple, beautiful, and very touching. It included a formal flag folding by two uniformed Army soldiers - Howe and Moore were their names, it seemed important to me to remember that. They then presented the flag to Wayne's son, Clay. He was very touched by that move. (This was the same flag that was draped over Wayne's casket at the funeral). Taps was played. Branden and I each had a reading, then we headed over to the memorial wall where my mom said a prayer over the ashes, and then they were placed in the wall and sealed.

Here's the poem I read, titled "He is Gone."

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and
turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

David Harkins, 1959

Kenneth Wayne Holster, January 27, 1943-October 31, 2009

Surfacing

2009-11-06T09:10:00.000-06:00

After a very long and difficult week, I am beginning to slowly surface.

Here's a recap of the last week.

Thursday the 29th (was that really just a week ago?), I got a message from my mom that the end was near for Wayne. After breaking down at work, I had some wonderful coworkers who came to my aid immediately. One of them offered to drive me to my parents' house, since Branden was already on his way to class.

I arrived around 4:00 that afternoon. I was able to talk to Wayne a bit that evening, and he responded a little with smiles and squeezing my hand. At 8:00 on Thursday evening, hospice began 24-hour care - providing a nurse to stay with Wayne around the clock. The end was near.

I stayed the night at my parents' house and Friday I spent the day with my mom. We got lunch at Taco Bell and stopped at the grocery store for some food, since we knew the house would shortly be filling with people.

Friday evening, my aunt and uncle arrived from Norman. My Aunt Julie is my mom's sister. They were there for the long haul. They went to a hotel nearby that evening after visiting with us for a while. I again slept on the spare bed in the back of my parents' living room that night.

Around 3:00 AM on Saturday morning, I woke up for my usual middle of the night bathroom break. As I used the bathroom adjoining Wayne's room, I could hear the fluid on his lungs with every breath. I briefly stopped in to look at him before going back to bed. I knew it couldn't possibly be much longer with him in that condition. It took me almost two hours to fall back asleep.

At 6:00 AM, I thought I heard my name being called out. I was so out of it that when I didn't hear it again, I assumed it was a dream, and laid back down. Minutes later, the hospice nurse came in to wake me up. He said my mom had asked for me. I knew what that must mean as I walked back to Wayne's room. I remember checking the clock in the kitchen as I walked past. It read 6:12 AM.

When I entered the room, my mom was standing next to the bed, holding Wayne's hand. His face was drawn and white. It took me a second to take in the fact that he was no longer breathing. I caught my mom's eye, and I knew. He was finally gone. Six months of suffering with lung cancer, and it was over.

We stayed there with him like that for a while, just the three of us and the nurse. When the time felt right (I think it must've only been 10 or 15 minutes), I began calling family. I called Julie at the hotel. I called my stepbrother Clay. I hated telling them that Wayne had passed, but I did it because it needed to be done. I called Wayne's brother Doug, who would pass along the information to the other brothers. Then I called Branden, who headed our way even though he had barely slept at all the night before.

Family gathered and paid respects to Wayne before the funeral home came. The Chaplain from hospice showed up, and helped us talk about Wayne and share stories. When the funeral home showed up, the Chaplain led us all in prayer around Wayne's body. Then we each told him goodbye in turn and left the room. When it was my turn, I kissed him on the forehead and said to him "I will always love you." Then they took him away.

Saturday passed in a haze. Slowly family began to leave, until it was just me, Branden, my aunt and uncle left with my mom. My mom's other sister showed up that afternoon, and stayed the night at my mom's house. I went home that night, and it felt good to sleep in my own bed again.

Sunday I went back to Arlington, and went with my the family to the funeral home to make arrangements. They were impressed with how much my mom already had prepared. She said that's what you do when you have six months to get ready for something like this. We ate lunch at El Chico after visiting the funeral home. My mom's youngest sister left that evening with plans to drive my grandparents down for the services on Thursday.

Monday I again went back to my parents' house, just to hang out. It felt good to be there - like that's where I was supposed to be. Thank goodness for my understanding boss and my company's excellent bereavement leave - I got the entire week off, and will only have to use one vacation day.

Tuesday I decided to stay home. Branden was off work for three days, and we really needed a day to do things around the house. I took my one-hour glucose test, which consisted of drinking a special neon-orange glucose drink and then having my blood drawn at the Birth Center an hour later. My results came back on the low side, but the midwife isn't worried, so I'll just take the test again at 28 weeks. Branden and I also voted, and got some other stuff done that day.

Wednesday Branden and I got ready and headed to my parents' house around mid-morning. When we got there, my mom had already received the call that we could go to the funeral home for a private viewing. We went - just the four of us now, as my uncle had driven back to Oklahoma to pick up my two cousins.

Wednesday evening was the viewing, and I was impressed by many things. So many flowers were delivered! It was a beautiful outporing of love. And so many people showed up. I personally had my three closest girlfriends, my second mom, and four coworkers show up to the viewing. It made me feel so loved and supported. My work also sent a huge, beautiful floral spray - another wonderful show of support. We got through the viewing, and when Branden was finished with class, he came to pick me up at my parents' house. It was after 11 before we got home that night.

Thursday (yesterday) was the funeral. It was every bit as difficult and emotional as I thought it would be. The service was beautiful, other than a couple of glitches from the sound system, and we got through those. I cried rivers. My mom finally let out some of her tears. My friend Ashley's aunt and uncle officiated, and they did an absolutely beautiful job. I am so very thankful to both of them for their help.

After the service, we went back to my parents' house for lunch. Wayne's friends from the lake parks (where he served as gate attendant in his retirement) already had a huge spread set out by the time we got there. There were tons of people who showed up to eat. The house was full, and it felt like a nice way to say goodbye. Slowly people trickled out. Branden went to class. Finally, it was again just me, my mom, my aunt, uncle and cousins. They left in the early evening hours, and I spent a couple of hours watching TV with my mom and packing up food to take home while Branden was in class. Finally, around 8:45, I left too. I left because my mom wanted and needed to be alone. I'm thinking of her today, but I know she needs her time. I know it's okay and even healthy for her to cry and grieve, and I'm letting her do that. She knows I'm only a phone call away.

Today I'm feeling okay. Not great, not all better, but okay. I feel like I got out a lot of the tears and emotion that had been building up yesterday. I know there will be more from time to time, and I know I have only begun to miss my father. But with only one step left in the process (a private family ceremony at the National Cemetery once he's been cremated), I am ready to begin healing.

I know this has been a long post, and if you have read this far, I'm impressed! I think this started out as a blog post and turned into a therapeutic way for me to write about the events of the past week and also keep a record of it for the future. I will add one more thing before I close out this post - and that is that I have been feeling little baby movements this past week, and it is incredible! I can't wait until they're stronger, so Branden can feel them too! It really has illustrated the circle of life thing for me. My baby boy awoke to me right around the same time Wayne left this earth. Seems more than just coincidence to me...

Our Baby!

2009-11-06T08:38:00.008-06:00

Lots of baby news to share before I post a big, emotional recap of the last week. I'll try to make this one short and sweet.

Monday, October 26 - our big (and likely only) ultrasound! Here are pics of our little baby BOY!

As you can tell from that second shot (the money shot!), he's definitely a boy! Branden and I are both overjoyed!

Secondly, our baby boy has a name! His name will be...

Benjamin James

And lastly, our crib was delivered on Tuesday, and Branden was anxious to go ahead and put it together.

He had it completed in about an hour! Here's the finished product. Now all we need is a mattress and bedding.

That's all the news for now! Stay tuned for (hopefully more frequent) updates.

It doesn't get any easier...

2009-10-19T19:56:00.003-05:00

I'm really trying to stay positive...but today certainly didn't help.

Over the weekend, I got confirmation on my suspicions regarding Wayne. I suspected that once he was bedridden, that was the beginning of the end. I just know him and I know his spirit and I knew that he wouldn't want to live like that. On Friday, he told my mom and me that he was ready to go. That he didn't want to be a burden on anyone anymore, and he knew his time was coming.

Today, more news. Wayne's hospice nurse suspects the beginnings of pneumonia and a UTI. Because he doesn't wish to have any life-prolonging care or treatment, he won't receive antibiotics. So the nurse doubled his morphine and that was that. It's likely the infection could end his life sooner.

My mom has been great throughout this process. She has been there by his side every step of the way, learning everything she can to support him and help herself through each stage. She has been a wonderful advocate for him, as well as a caretaker and companion. I am so proud of her. I will not call her strong, because I learned from a recent widow from our Gilda's Club support group that they get tired of being called strong when they feel anything but. I will say that she has done everything she could for him, and more.

I really tried to soldier on through the day after hearing the latest news, and I was doing a pretty good job until I left work. I was in a rush to catch the bus and tried to take a shortcut over the grass berm in front of our building. Big Mistake! As soon as I hit the downhill slope, I felt my feet fall out from under me and I went crashing down on my rear end. Did I mention that said berm was quite muddy? So I sat there, covered in mud, and watched my bus drive right on by. Thank goodness for a kind coworker (and friend) who gave me a ride home, despite being covered in mud!

Life goes on, right? So I'm waiting for my dryer to beep so I can throw on some clothes and go get groceries. Such is life...

Things that make me happy

2009-10-15T20:07:00.006-05:00

In an effort to keep a positive outlook and stay upbeat lately, I've been focusing on the positive. Here are some things that make me happy...

1. Watching "The Office." I'm currently on Season 5, thanks to Netflix!

2. Hanging out with my Mom. We're going shopping for baby items at a big resale event tomorrow, and I can't wait!

3. Playing Guitar Hero 5 with Branden...even though I always have to play bass to his guitar. :)

4. Going to the State Fair! Doing this on Sunday, and can't wait to get to ride the train right up to the main gates!

5. Finally looking pregnant! Here I am at 17 weeks on Wednesday the 14th:

6. My birthday! On the 24th, I turn...

And finally...#7 - our Big Ultrasound on the 26th! We finally get to find out...

Let's just hope our little CityBaby cooperates and shows us the goods!

A Great Weekend

2009-10-04T20:20:00.006-05:00

I have had a wonderful weekend! After the emotional mess that happened on Tuesday, it was very welcome.

Saturday started out with a trip to Arlington to spend some quality time with Wayne. This time around, there were no big surprises waiting for me when I arrived, and no unexpected trips to the hospital either. Just me and Wayne and lots and lots of great conversation. White I was there, I also got him food, helped him into the living room, cleaned up his room a little for the company he was to have that evening, and helped him into the bathroom so he could clean himself up a little before I left. The best part was just sitting in the recliner next to him and talking, about anything and everything. He was back to his old self, no traces of Tuesday's scare left, and I can't put into words how grateful I am for this. It was a wonderful visit!

From Arlington, I headed up to Wylie to visit with Jeana, her baby Taryn, and Lindsey. It's been months since I've seen Taryn, and she's grown so much! Here is Taryn, hanging out in the high chair at Taco Bell. She's almost 9 months old now:

After a great visit with the girls, I headed home and fell asleep on the couch while Branden played on the computer.

Today has been a great around-the-house day. We started out with a trip to Cafe Brazil in Deep Ellum for brunch. Since then, I've done laundry, played on the computer, watched Grey's Anatomy online. We got groceries this afternoon, and I made taco salad for dinner. Now we're re-watching An Inconvenient Truth at Branden's request.

So that's been my weekend! Hope yours has been good as well. :o)

Catching up

2009-09-30T13:36:00.003-05:00

For those of you who haven't been following me as Citysaur on the Pregosaur blog, I thought it would be nice to have a little update over here on how things have been going.

On the pregnancy front, I am now safely ensconced in the 2nd trimester. Today marks 15 weeks of pregnancy. Our little one is now 4 inches long, and has reflexes, facial movements (like frowning and squinting) and is sensitive to light (they say if you shine a light on the belly, baby will move away from it). I'm not showing much yet, though I can definitely tell I'm getting bigger. My regular pants are all but obsolete now. And it will probably still be a while before I can feel little baby movements (it generally takes longer if you have a little more "padding", shall we say!). As far as I can tell, everything is going well in there. We had an appointment with the Birth and Women's Center, where we will be delivering, on September 14. It was a great appointment - we got to hear baby's heartbeat, which was a healthy 166 BPM. Things seem to be going along swimmingly so far! And we'll find out on October 26 whether it's a little girl or a little boy in there!

Branden's still doing quite well in school - he even got a scholarship award this year! He's taking 12 graduate hours this fall (4 classes - one on Monday, one on Wednesday, and two on Thursday), so that keeps him pretty busy. A month ago, he was cleared to do half days on bike, and that helped his morale at work quite a bit. He should be good to go full days whenever he's ready - the doc said October, which starts tomorrow! I know that will be a big relief for him - the 9 months he spent doing dispatch all day really wore on him.

In other family news, my stepdad is still hanging in there. He has ups and downs, good days and bad days, and it's all guesswork as to how long he'll be around. He's still hoping to be around to see the baby in the Spring, and I know I'd love it if that were to happen! He's been battling edema for several weeks, mostly in his legs and feet, and he still has over 20 lbs of water weight on him. He went into hospice care several weeks ago, and it did make a huge difference in his comfort level almost immediately. They put him on a medication regiment that helped control his coughing, which had been his biggest source of discomfort. He gave us quite a scare yesterday morning - I happened to have taken the day off to go spend time with him, and his breathing was labored, and he wasn't acting like himself at all. By the dinner time, he was much more himself, and I'm hoping he continues to improve. Still no idea what caused this, and care for hospice patients is a little different anyway, so the doctors don't seem to be in as big a rush to get to the bottom of it.

So as you can see, life's been full of ups and downs lately. I'm going to try to be more faithful in my blog updates from now on. Love to you all!

I have been blogging...

2009-08-26T13:48:00.003-05:00

Just not here.

I've joined the blog at Pregosaur - and in case you need any hints, I'm Citysaur.

It's been a good way to get out my thoughts and feelings on this pregnancy journey, without always bugging my friends and family with every little bit of info - though they've all been more than gracious about sharing in the experience with me.

In other news, my stepdad is still hanging in there. He's in good spirits, and has a great attitude about everything. The latest news is that they've started hospice care, which will be a huge help for them both, I believe. I'm just trying to enjoy every single visit with them as much as possible, having no idea how much longer we have. I'm still going to group therapy at Gilda's Club, and it's been a tremendous experience. We missed for the first time this week because I was feeling under the weather - just a little sinus/allergy problem that's already starting to clear up.

That's it for now! More later, I promise!

We're having a baby!

2009-08-24T19:46:00.008-05:00

Yep, it's true. I'm pregnant!

I apologize for the lack of posts here. I've tried several times to come up with something to post about that wasn't pregnancy-related...but I just couldn't do it!

We tried to hold the news in as long as we could...but could only make it to 10 weeks. That's how far along we are today. Our estimated due date is March 24.

We've already made one big decision...we're going to try for a natural birth. We both feel it's the best decision for us and our baby. We're still checking our options and deciding where we'll give birth, but we'll definitely be using a midwife instead of an obstetrician.

Things have gone well so far in the pregnancy. My main symptom is being tired all the time - and I do mean all the time. I've had one bought of morning sickness, about a week and a half ago.

Branden and I are both over the moon, and can't wait to start our little family! Here are a few of the clothes we've gotten already:

What Cancer Cannot Do

2009-07-08T12:07:00.004-05:00

This poem is framed and sitting in the Gilda's Club library. I found it very inspiring and just wanted to pass it along...

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit.

Gilda's Club

2009-07-08T11:50:00.007-05:00

I'm officially a member of Gilda's Club!

After having an emotional break down at work last week, I decided it was time to reach out for my support. Luckily for me, the Dallas location of Gilda's Club is just a block away from my office - it doesn't get much more convenient than that!

Gilda's Club is a nonprofit support organization for anyone affected by cancer. Their motto is "Cancer support for the whole family, the whole time." They have group therapy, wellness activities, networking groups, fun/informational activities, socials - even an on-site work out room! The whole thing is housed in a home-like setting which immediately puts you at ease.

Branden and I attended our New Member meeting last night, and today I had my one-on-one appointment to design my customized membership experience. I start my family & friends support group next week! I'm so glad to be going so soon. It feels weird to say I'm excited, but I am looking forward to talking to others with similar experiences and emotions.

Oh, and the best part of Gilda's Club? Every single thing is F-R-E-E. I like the sound of that.

They also have a small library, mostly filled with cancer/self-help/support books, but also including a section of general fiction. I already checked out two books:

My librarian mother instilled in me the belief that answers can often be found in the pages of a book, so that's where I'm turning.

To round out my education, I have placed "Saturday Night Live's The Best of Gilda Radner" at the top of my Netflix queue - I'd like to see some of the wonderful woman who inspired all of this. She was a bit before my SNL time (I watched during the era of Adam Sandler, Jon Lovitz, et.al.) - so I'm looking forward to some laughs when it comes in.

Father's Day

2009-06-28T17:05:00.010-05:00

I'm finally able to post about our Father's Day!

We're having internet issues at home, and I've been back and forth with AT&T many times. We should've had access over a week ago, but it's looking like it'll be Thursday before anything happens now. So, I'm having to steal moments online wherever I can. Right now, that happens to be at my parents' house, where the boys are continuing their game from last weekend.

Speaking of that, Father's Day was really something special around here! The cast of characters here to celebrate with Wayne included my mom, me, Branden, Branden's best friend Pete, Pete's girlfriend Rachel, Branden's friend Chris, Wayne's son Clay, Clay's best friend Chris, and my best friend Lindsey. Did you catch all that? :o) Oh, and for good measure, my parents' dog Sooner, and our dogs Jock and Pepper, too!

The boys (and Rachel) played a modified version of Dungeons and Dragons, which they called Castle. It is a role-playing game with dice and little characters and a huge, awesome castle Wayne built:

Close-up of the top of the castle:

In honor of the occasion, we ordered a castle cake from Confections in Cake. Erika did an excellent job! It even brought Wayne to tears.

Every castle has to have a King and Queen, so here are ours:

Somehow, the Queen's crown made it onto the Doggy Prince, Sooner:

Here's me!

Pete and Branden, goofing around:

Me and Lindsey:

Wayne kept the crown on for a while. Here he is with Pete and Rachel, in the midst of game play:

Chris, Clay and Chris getting into the game:

Finally, it was time to cut the cake!

After a long day and lots of people, the cake was rather sad looking, being half-eaten. But boy was it delicious! It was pineapple flavored, with cherry filling (and real cherries!).

Here's a cute shot of Sooner, in his honored spot on the couch cushion. Poor Pepper really wants to come in and join the party! (Don't worry, we let him in shortly after this picture was taken).

It was a wonderful day, and Wayne told me it was his best Father's Day ever, which is exactly what we were going for. We love you, Wayne!

I figured I should post

2009-06-09T20:15:00.002-05:00

Since I haven't been keeping up very well lately.

What have I been doing? Obviously not blogging. I've been reading...and watching movies. Mostly those two things. I'm halfway through two different books right now. Normally I hate reading more than one at a time, but circumstances forced me to. I finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix a week early (according to the contest schedule - see "HP Revisited" in my sidebar for more info), so I thought I'd have time to sneak in another book before beginning the next Harry Potter. I was sadly mistaken. I was only halfway through Interview with the Vampire when it came time to begin Half-Blood Prince...so I put Interview on the back burner. And now, only a few days in, I'm already halfway through HBP! It's definitely a much faster read, and I'm just loving this re-reading journey I'm on!

What else have I been up to? Movies, of course! I'm just loving my Netflix subscription. It was absolutely the perfect gift from my wonderful husband. I've been taking advantage of the Watch Instantly feature to get into "The Office". Though the first season was kind of a slow start, I'm beyond hooked now, a few episodes in to the second season. I love that they're only 20ish minutes long, so I can fit an episode in here and there. And it's hilarious! I can't get over how obnoxious Dwight is, or how utterly full of himself - but in an oddly innocent way - Michael is. Can't wait to see how things develop!

Lessee...other news...Branden's recovery seems to be going well. He's still got a few months until he's back to full duty at work, but he's been going to physical therapy and doing his home exercises as well. The only setback has been him pulling his hamstring a couple of times - the first time while playing with the dogs, the second being last weekend, when he decided to be macho and race a couple of our friends in the pool. (He won, but definitely paid a price for it!)

I do have to brag on him a bit, though. Yesterday, I was having a bad day at work. To my great surprise, he met me at work to ride the bus home with me! It was such a sweet gesture, and it totally turned my day around! It's the little things that count the most sometimes, you know?

I think that's quite enough blabbering on from me today. I'll try to be a better blogger - but I've always been of the opinion that if I didn't have anything particularly interesting to say, it was better not to bother with blogging at all. However, I'm trying to balance that with the need to keep this here blog alive, so - I'll try to be better!

Weekend Wrap-Up

2009-06-02T09:35:00.010-05:00

Worst part of the weekend: When it was over on Sunday night. :(

Best part of the weekend: Watching lots of movies! Saw 4 movies total:

Most random part of the weekend: When Branden came back from walking the dogs, and instead of starting dinner, told me to get dressed...then took me to Northpark to eat at the food court (I got Which Wich - yum!) and see "X-Men: Wolverine".

People I saw this weekend: Branden and a bunch of strangers at Northpark

Something I wished I did this weekend that I didn't get around to doing: My long-standing to-do item of printing out some wedding & honeymoon pictures for the frames we have sitting in the spare room.

Things that I am looking forward to this week: Quiet nights eating dinner w/Branden and reading "Interview with the Vampire". Hope to have it finished by the weekend. Then party Friday night, and dinner at a friend's house Saturday night.

Things that I am not looking forward to this week: Working out. And working. Pretty much anything with "work" in it.

Book Meme

2009-05-20T08:35:00.003-05:00

Copied from Smash's blog...though I did go to the trouble of changing the answers! ;-)

1) What Author do you own the most books by? J K Rowling - I'm sure 7 tops the list!

2) What book do you own the most copies of? I honestly don't think I own more than one copy of any particular title.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions? Not a bit.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with? Emmett Cullen

5) What book have you read the most times in your life? The Mozart Season - Virginia Euwer Wolff

6) Favorite book as a ten year old? Definitely one of the Babysitters Club books - I loved those!

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year? Dixieland Sushi - Cara Lockwood. It wasn't awful, but it really wasn't that great. It's one that I picked by cover - I try to pick a couple of those each time I visit the library.

8) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year? Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen

9) If you could force everyone you know to read one book, what would it be? Ditto Smash's answer - Harry Potter series.

10) What book would you most like to see made into a movie? Something Borrowed/Something Blue - I hear there are plans, and I'd love to see them materialize.

11) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read? Something I had to read for high school, probably...I remember "Red Badge of Courage" being difficult to get through...and I know there were others.

12) What is your favorite book? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

13) Play? I don't have one...I'm rather uneducated when it comes to theater

14) Poem? I'm also not much for poetry...look at me, all anti-literature.

15) Essay? I'm supposed to have a favorite essay?

16) Who is the most overrated writer alive today? I think Smash is right - Stephanie Meyer

17) What is your desert island book? I'll be different and say Twilight

18) And… what are you reading right now? Just finished Goblet of Fire...I'll start on Order of the Phoenix next.

Dog Bowl

2009-05-17T20:22:00.004-05:00

We visited the Dog Bowl at Fair Park today. If you haven't been, I highly recommend it. Once a year, the Cotton Bowl becomes the area's largest dog park. They have vendor booths and kiddie pools filled with water all over the field, and this year they even had a band providing entertainment. I'm intimately acquainted with this because the second time I let Jock off-leash, he decided to go UNDERNEATH the stage! Fortunately he quickly came out the other side...I certainly didn't want to make a scene by going in after him!

We only stayed for 30 or 45 minutes. Branden's only a few weeks post-surgery, and his knee still tires quickly, so we left before too long. On the way out of the park, we stopped for a picture. This is the best of the lot - even though Branden's not looking, the pups are!

Jock, Pepper and Branden

A Surprise from my husband

2009-05-11T13:38:00.004-05:00

My dear, dear husband surprised me this weekend with a year's subscription to Netflix!!!

It was his gift to me for taking such good care of him while he's been recovering from surgery. (His words, not mine - I swear!) Of course, I didn't do any of it expecting any kind of reparations, but this sure was a wonderful surprise!! I should get my first two movies tomorrow, and I can't wait. If you have an account and would like to be my Netflix friend, just let me know what your e-mail address is and I'll add you. :o)

I used to have Blockbuster Online, once upon a time, but it's been a few years since I closed my account to save money. I'm glad to be back on the mail order movie bandwagon. And I love the instant-movies option Netflix has - we even watched an episode of South Park on the computer on Saturday night after I signed up!

Branden Update

2009-05-09T15:05:00.003-05:00

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone who has offered support over the last couple of weeks. They've been a bit rough, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Having friends who I can lean on, people who will bring us food - it all means the world to us both.

Branden had his follow-up appointment with his doctor on Friday. It was a very positive visit, and I think it really motivated Branden to work on his recovery. The doc told him the following:
1. He needs to start putting weight on the leg - effective immediately.
2. He should start working on keeping his leg straight.
3. He should wean off the crutches over the next two weeks.

And he goes back to work on Monday! He'll still be behind the desk for a while, but it's a start. ever since then, he's been doin exactly what the doc said. He's already able to hobble about, and this morning we walked all the way to the other end of downtown to go vote...albeit very slowly and with the aid of the crutches. This is great progress!

I'm excited to see him begin the recovery process, and even though we've still got many months until he's 100% again, I'm very encouraged so far.

The weekend is going well so far. Last night I went with my friends Lindsey and Christina to go see a performance of Crazy for You put on by the Music Theatre of Denton. Operawife played the role of Irene, and the show was absolutely fabulous! I was reminded of just how much I love musicals, and I hope to attend more as funds allow.

I also got to meet a fellow Knottie/Nestie, Rachel, who I've "known" online for quite a while now - since we were both planning our weddings and posting on the Knot message boards at the same time (she got married last November). I was excited to finally get to meet her in person, and she's just as sweet in person as she is online!

I'm currently watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with Branden. I need to watch "Chambe of Secrets" tonight for the Harry Potter Revisited contest (see sidebar), but Branden wanted to start from the beginning, since he's never read the books or really paid attention to the movies - though he has seen one in the theater with me and my parents. I suppose I should go pay attention...I always notice new things each time I watch these movies.

I am not okay

2009-05-03T10:43:00.004-05:00

I have to admit it...as much as I've tried this week to be okay, I am not okay.

I will be. But I am not yet.

I have tried to be strong, and for the most part it has worked. And I know I will continue to be strong. But deep down inside, I am not okay.

I am not okay with the fact that my stepdad has lung cancer. That is not okay with me. That makes me angry, and hurt, and it is just so wrong. It isn't supposed to happen to him. He is too good for that. It's not okay.

It has been one week since my parents invited us over to tell us the news. I am inspired and in awe of their positive attitude. I am doing my best to emulate that positive attitude. For the most part, I am doing a good job. But I still know that deep down inside, I am not okay.

I am not okay with the fact that it is stage three...and inoperable. I am not okay with what he is going to have to go through...the chemo, the radiation...whatever course of action is decided upon by his doctors once all the test results (needle biopsy, PET scan) come in. I am not okay with the fact that I now know what a PET scan is. I am not okay with the fact that dirty, ugly, black cancerous cells are making themselves at home inside his lungs. They have no right to be there.

I know in my heart of hearts that he will fight this. That he will go into remission. That my parents will have great vacations and fun RV trips. That he will be in the waiting room when I give birth to my first child. That he will be around to see that child grow up, at least for a little while. That he will have a wonderful life, just as he has the past 66 years, until it is his time. The doctors say he has a really good chance of making it to the 5 year mark, because he's otherwise in such good health. And that's just an average...it could be much more than that.

I am definitely okay...in fact, proud...of the fact that he is in such good health. I am proud that he has lost so much weight (in a healthy way) since his triple bypass surgery three years ago. I am proud that because of those choices, his body is prepared to fight. He's always had a fighting spirit...I know that from all the stories he's told me over the years...but now he has the body to match. I am proud of him for that.

I can't decide if Branden's surgery has been a good distraction from all this...I'd like to think it has. Taking care of him post-surgery has taken up most of my physical and emotional energy since then. He's been an excellent patient, and I know he hates feeling like a burden. But he has not been a burden. I am taking care of him because I love him, because I made a vow that I would be there for him no matter what, and because I know he would do the same for me. It really isn't any trouble...it's just energy-consuming, what with fixing meals, keeping up with his Polar Care 500, taking out the dogs four times a day, keeping things picked up, making sure he's clean and well-fed and has water and medicine and entertainment...

Like I said, it's no problem. It just consumes my energy. And so I am not okay. Not yet. And perhaps I'm not supposed to be yet. Maybe that's okay. Maybe it's okay that as I sit here, listening to the hum of his cooler, watching him sleep, that tears roll down my face. Maybe it's okay that I had to leave my best friend's party because I couldn't sit there and watch people smoke. (I feel awful about that...it was her day, and I wasn't okay enough to celebrate with her).

I do know that I've never felt so old as I do now. These are adult situations that I'm dealing with, and I hope, at least outwardly, that I am dealing with them with as much grace as I can muster. This blog post...this isn't my public face. These are my private thoughts...but somehow it helps to get them out in the world.

I am not okay...but I will be. I don't need sympathy...if anyone deserves that, it's Wayne, or Branden, or my Mom, who are all doing what they have to do to move on. I am playing my part, and I will be okay. Really, I will.

Sleeeeeepy

2009-04-24T09:21:00.005-05:00

It's Friday morning, and I'm already predicting this won't be one of my most productive days. I'm exhausted from all the work I did last night for Tick Remediation 2009.

It all started last week when Branden found a tick on my dog Jock. (He's the one on the left in the picture there.) He removed it, and we didn't think much else about it. Two nights ago, I was watching a movie (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, if you must know) on the couch. After it was over, I got up to tuck the corners of the slipcover back in (it NEVER stays in place)...and found a tick, right there on the couch! EW EW EW EW!!

That was IT for me, and I do mean IT. I stripped the slipcover off the couch immediately, and threw it and the blanket into the washer. Then I made a Plan of Attack.

Plan of attack began last night with a trip to Petropolitan, our favorite (and only) downtown pet shop. I talked to the owner, Chris, for a while and he pointed me in the direction of the flea & tick shampoo I'd want. After a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up vitamins and kitty litter (unrelated to TR '09), I headed back home and steeled myself for what was ahead.

Bathing dogs really isn't that big of a deal, normally. Pepper is actually pretty good at it, from his years as a show dog. Baths for him used to mean showtime, so even now he's pretty good about complying. Jock, on the other hand, has never enjoyed getting wet, and last night was no exception. After struggling with him for a bit, I finally got him into the tub, and then it was a battle of wills to keep him there. Once he got wet, he was mostly resigned to the fact that he was stuck there. Then the fun part came...the part where I had to leave the shampoo on for 15 minutes. Of course I knew I couldn't trust him to stay put, so I stayed right there next to him.

Let me tell you, toilets do not make good seats for 15 minutes. But I did get some reading done while I thwarted his attempts at escaping. When it came to be Pepper's turn, he was a bit more cooperative and mostly resigned to the fact that he had to stay there, soaking wet, until I said it was time. He even laid down at one point. Probably thought "Might as well make myself comfortable."

After the dogs were taken care of, it was on to the rest of the house. I already had the dog bedding in the washer. I went ahead and filled the sink with dishes to let them soak while I tackled the floors (we wash our dishes by hand...it's a water conservation thing that Branden started, and it gets the dishes cleaner than our dishwasher can anyway). On to the floors...I hauled the vacuum cleaner down the stairs and vacuumed the entire downstairs, including the hardwood floors. Got a lot of dog hair cleaned up too, so that was an added bonus.

After all of that, plus doing the dinner dishes, I was ready to crash. I landed on the couch (still sans slipcover...Branden agreed to put that back on for me), and enjoyed the root beer I had purchased earlier at the grocery store. Phew! What a night!

The upside of all this is that it offered a tiny little glimpse into how I might be as a parent, and I'd say I passed this test. I was pretty proud of myself after all was said and done. I know it's small in the grand scheme of things, but I felt good about it.

In other news, Branden's ACL surgery is next Wednesday, and it looks like he'll be off work until at least May 11. I know he's going to get bored & restless around the house...so if anyone has any suggestions I could pass along to him of things he could do while laying around, feel free to post them in the comments! Note: We don't have cable TV, so that's just a slight challenge.

Belated Easter Post

2009-04-17T21:50:00.004-05:00

I'm finally getting around to sharing the pictures from our trip to Midland last weekend. It was a great and relaxing vacation. We left Thursday evening, and were there almost three full days before we headed back on Sunday evening. Without further ado, here are some pictures from our trip!

Jock and Pepper, hangin' out in the back seat:

On the road:

Niece Haley, throwing down a rhyme (Yo!):

We had the pleasure of going out to the movies, thanks to my father-in-law's bunch of free movie tickets. It was also little Haley's first movie. At the age of 3 1/2, she did a wonderful job of paying attention and behaving. The movie was Monsters Vs. Aliens in 3-D. Here are Branden and I in our groovy glasses:

Haley, before the movie:

A big storm moved in while we were watching the movie. This huge tumbleweed was waiting for us in the driveway when we got back:

Sunday morning, it was time to go hunt Easter Eggs. Haley was ready!:

The Hunt:

Victorious! Haley found all 25 eggs. Me, Branden, Haley and her mom/Branden's sister, Rae:

I'm a big fan of quality family time, and that's precisely what this trip provided. I'm very lucky that I married into such a great family. My in-laws are all wonderful people, and they welcomed me with open arms on my very first trip to Midland, exactly three years before this one. I'll never forget my introduction to the parents of my then-boyfriend of only three months. It was his dad's birthday, and Rae had me carry the cake in to his parents house. Our visit was a surprise - and imagine the surprise when I pressed the cake a little too close to my chest as I carried it up the steps, and walked in to meet them with icing on my boob! It couldn't have been a more perfect introduction!

Harry Potter contest!

2009-04-17T13:21:00.002-05:00

Super exciting announcement alert!

My friend Smash is hosting a "Harry Potter Revisited" contest over on her blog, Great Books and Fresh Coffee. I'm not going to repost all the instructions, so you should just go check it out on her blog! And if you decide to participate (which you should, you way should, because the prizes are Awe.Some.)...please tell Smash that I referred you, because I myself am also participating! And no, there are no advantages to be a friend of the blogger. I'm on even footing...so it's every HP Fan for themselves! Ready...and...GO!

We have a date!

2009-04-16T15:30:00.008-05:00

A surgery date, that is!

For those of you who don't know, my husband Branden tore his ACL on November 18 of last year. He was on duty at the time, as a bike officer for the Downtown Safety Patrol. Something like this:

(That's him on the left, actually, in a promo photo taken before November 18).

The injury occured when he was struggling with a homeless guy who decided he wanted to be beligerant. The dude started swinging at Branden, who was wrestling with his heavy glove so he could get to the trigger on his pepper spray. Long story short, Branden moved wrong while trying to keep the guy off him, and POP! His ACL tore clean through, like this:

The injury couldn't have been more clear-cut - he was in uniform, in the line of duty, and has numerous documents to back up his case, including a police report, a Safety Patrol report, a pre-employment physical, and a doctor's report from that day. And yet, it has still taken almost five months of wrangling with worker's comp insurance (a pox on your house, Texas Mutual!) to get this surgery scheduled. I could go on and on, but let's just say that the journey included innumerable phone calls between Branden, his doctor, his local insurance contact, and a claims adjuster out of state. And multiple denials of the claim...he counted three or four total, before finally getting approval two weeks ago. It's been a hot mess, but the end is in sight.

Oh, what's the date, you ask? April 29.

Midland trip...a Preview

2009-04-14T21:38:00.003-05:00

Branden and I made the trip out to Midland to visit his family for Easter. We left after work on Thursday and got to spend almost three whole days there, which seemed like a luxury after some of our previous in-and-out quicktrips. We had a great time, and I have several pictures to share, but I don't have time to post them tonight. Instead, I'll leave you with this teaser video of our niece Haley making a card for her GrandPoppy's birthday, which was Friday. Isn't she a doll?

Haven't said much lately

2009-04-03T11:24:00.003-05:00

As I told one family member who was requesting more frequent blog entries, I'm not much on blogging unless I feel like I have something to say. Often, my life feels pretty routine, so I don't bother to post. But how am I to know what might be interesting to you, dear blog readers? So herein follows a list of what I've been up to lately.

1. Reading. Lots of that. Right now I'm enjoying Second Helpings by Megan McCafferty, having just finished Sloppy Firsts earlier this week. They're fun books, and though it took me a while to get into the first one, I'm hooked now and I can't wait to keep going. There are five of them so far - yay! I love it when I can really get invested in a character or set of characters and follow them through time.

2. Watching Amazing Race. I just discovered that CBS has full episodes available online, and I'm already caught up to the broadcast schedule. This has been a really fun season, with lots of good teams I felt like I could root for, and so far none that I really hate. I think my favorite team is Luke & Marge, and my favorite task has been one from the very first episode - hauling 50 lb blocks of cheese down a steep hill. Hilarity.

3. Celebrating. My work-friend Julia is getting married tonight. (YAY!) I was in charge of putting on her work shower. I had some great help, and together with my team was able to pull off a wonderful celebration, with a "Dish Ran Away with the Spoon" theme, stemming from the fact that her new last name will be Spoon! We had spoon decor of all types, and for part of her present, I went out and found every single spoon they had registered for and bought them all! Along with that, I have also attended a "Stock the Bar" shower and her bachelorette party, which was last night. I wasn't able to stay out late, since I had to work today, but it was great getting to meet and hang out with all her wonderful friends from all over the country. I know her wedding tonight is going to be wonderful, and I'm really excited to attend.

Of course, I've done much more with my time than just those three things, but those are some highlights. Sorry for the lack of pictures...hopefully my wonderful narrative will be enough to sate your appetite for Courtney-news. 'Til next time...

The Most awesome cake ever

2009-03-27T16:38:00.002-05:00

I just had to share this awesomeness. For those of you who don't know, my all-time favorite movie(s) is/are Back to the Future (I-III).

I found this on the Food Network website...there's a cake gallery related to the show "Ace of Cakes" (love) where people can submit photos of their own fancy cakes. Anyway, the cake above? Swoon!

The Night Max Wore His Wolf Suit...

2009-03-26T10:16:00.003-05:00

There are no words for how excited I am about this. Watching the trailer brought so many great childhood memories rushing back. I can still hear my mom's voice saying those words as she would read the book to me. As I plan to do with my children, as well.

Weekend Wrap-up

2009-03-24T19:20:00.007-05:00

I promised to post a wrap-up of my weekend, since I blogged about how much I was looking forward to it on Friday. Here goes...

Saturday, we woke up early and headed to the TRE station to catch the first train to Fort Worth. After a nice train ride and a short bus trip, we reached our destination - Will Rogers Center in Fort Worth. Pete didn't end up coming with us, because he had to work. No skin off our teeth - we still had a great time.

We were only at the show for a couple of hours, but we did get to watch Branden's parents put a point on their basset hound, Annie. Dog show rules are kinda complicated, but basically, in order for a dog to become a champion, they have to earn a certain number of points. They earn points by getting wins - but they don't have to win their breed to get points. It's all very complicated, much moreso than I probably need to explain for the purposes of this blog - especially since I barely understand it myself. Suffice it to say, winning a point was a good thing for little Annie Basset. I didn't take a picture of Annie, but here's me playing with her litter on our visit to Midland, Christmas 2007. I honestly can't tell which of the black & tan ones she is, or if she's even in the frame. Perhaps my mother-in-law can help out (I know she reads this blog!).

I did take one picture at the show this weekend. Branden saw this as he was heading to the bathroom, and had to come back and bring me along so I could see. It was too precious not to pass along. An ingenious way to keep track of your kids with everything going on in such a huge building:

Before anyone goes all indignant on me, yes they were being watched. There were adults standing right next to the crate, grooming some of the other Irish Setters. And the kids? They were having a blast, playing with toys, oblivious to the scene they were causing. You can't tell from this picture, but there were about 10 people gathered around at this point.

After the show, we grabbed lunch at a little Italian place near the in-laws' hotel, then headed down to my parents' campsite at Joe Pool Lake. We had a great time, relaxing and taking in nature. We mostly just sat around and visited...walked around the lake...that kind of thing. My stepdad cooked burgers for dinner, and they were delicious! All in all, a great time of family togetherness. I'm looking forward to the next time we can visit my folks at the lake...and maybe next time we'll take advantage of the swimming beach and actually take a dip in the lake.

Sunday we mostly spent around the house, running errands, and relaxing. Branden got us each a treat to round out the weekend. He chose a Sims 2 expansion pack (Open for Business, in case anyone was curious) and I chose the movie Dark Knight, since I knew I wanted to own a copy of it anyway. We watched it over dinner (the ranchero beef bake from my previous entry, actually), and it made for a great end to a wonderful weekend!

Yummy Recipes

2009-03-24T18:53:00.007-05:00

I thought I'd share a couple of recipes I've made and enjoyed lately. I'm not much of a "domestic goddess", but I've really enjoyed trying out new recipes, especially here in the last couple of months. Maybe it's that "wife gene" that kicks in or something. Anyhow, on to the recipes.

The first is from Kraftfoods.com - Baked Salmon with Tomatoes, Spinach & Mushrooms.

Ingredients:

4 salmon fillets (1 lb.)
2 cups chopped fresh spinach leaves
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 tomato, chopped
1/3 cup KRAFT Sun-Dried Tomato Dressing

Directions:

HEAT oven to 375°F. Place fish fillets, skin sides down, in 13x9-inch baking dish sprayed with cooking spray.
MIX remaining ingredients until blended; spoon over fish.
BAKE 20 to 25 min. or until fish flakes easily with fork.

Super easy, right? My favorite recipes are those with only a few ingredients and only a few steps - those are the ones I'm best at. :o) Now here's a picture of the finished product:

And here's a picture of my husband, patiently posing with the dinner before digging in:

I served it with Uncle Ben's long grain and wild rice, which was a perfect accompaniment. VERDICT: A+! I really liked this, but I may be biased since salmon is one of my absolute favorite things to eat in the whole world. But I thought the veggies and dressing were a great addition. The flavors blended really well. I'll definitely be making this one again.

Next we move on to a recipe from Campbell's Meal-mail, called Ranchero Beef Taco Bake.

Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup
3 tbsp. tomato paste
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
3/4 cup Pace® Chunky Salsa
3/4 cup water
8 corn tortillas (6-inch) OR 6 flour tortillas (8-inch), cut into 1-inch pieces
2/3 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Directions:

Cook the beef in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until the beef is well browned, stirring frequently to break up meat. Pour off any fat.
Stir the soup, tomato paste, chili powder, garlic powder, salsa, water, tortillas and half the cheese into the beef. Spoon into a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Cover.
Bake at 400°F. for 30 minutes or until hot and bubbling. Sprinkle with remaining cheese.

My ingredients, ready to mix together (except the bananas...those just happened to be in the picture!):

Finished product:

VERDICT: I'll give this one an A. It was really yummy, the flavors all comingled quite nicely and we both really enjoyed it. I think I would've liked it even more had the tortillas somehow come out crispy instead of doughy. I guess you'd have to fry them up to get them like that. But it was still quite delicious, and fairly easy to prepare as well.

I won't pretend this is a cooking blog, so it may be a while before you see another cooking post. But this is some of what I've been up to lately, so I thought I'd share! If you decide to tackle either of these, let me know how it goes.

TGIF!

2009-03-20T15:25:00.006-05:00

I don't have anything specific to talk about, so I just thought I'd give a general wrap-up of what's been going on lately and what's to come.

Branden tried to keep me away from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning by putting it on top of the kitchen cabinet. Not cool, man. Not cool. I got it down with the help of a chair...and then I decided to eat Honey Nut Cheerios instead anyway.
Work's been weird quiet lately with most of upper management and lots of other people gone for Spring Break.
Kidd Kraddick is also on Spring Break, and I skipped the "best of" the first few days, until I realized that hearing those voices in the morning as I'm getting ready helps me start my day. So yesterday and today I listened, and it made my days start off much better!
Branden's been off from class this week...and two nights I've left him alone to fend for himself. Tuesday I went to the Dallas Wind Symphony concert (which was wonderful!), and Wednesday I had dinner with friends (which was also wonderful!).

Weekend Plans - I am so excited about tomorrow, it's not even funny. I'm thinking I might need to get less excited just so the day can live up to my expectations. Branden and I are going to Fort Worth to hang out at the dog show with his parents, who are in town showing their basset hound Annie. Branden's best friend Pete is coming along with us. Pete's always good for a laugh. Then we're all going to meet my parents at Loyd Park for a joint family cookout. I'm silly excited about it all. I love family time, and I love dog shows - so when you put them all together, I'm a happy camper!

Adding to the excitement, I found out this morning that there will be a celebrity dog at the "Meet the Breed" area tomorrow - Stump, this year's 10-year-old Westminster winner, who came out of retirement to take the big prize. Here's a picture of Stump, a Sussex Spaniel:

What a cutie! I'm gonna see if I can get a picture with him, even if I get laughed at.

I'm ready for the work day to be OVER so I can start my weekend. I've got a cheesy chicken bake cooking in the crock pot right now, and I'm looking forward to having that for dinner. I'll post a review, along with the recipe, later on. Hope everyone else has a good weekend too!

Book Review: A Thousand Splendid Suns

2009-03-17T15:27:00.005-05:00

SPOILER ALERT...I just don't know how to review this book without giving away a couple of major plot items.

I've been reading a lot of books lately, and most of them I don't bother to review. The fact of the matter is, I'm not a good book reviewer. I like almost everything I read, for various reasons and to varying degrees. But that does not make for the most objective reviewer. But this book...it deserves to be reviewed.

This book, like the movie "Slumdog Millionaire", is one of those stories that just needs to be out there. Except that there is no pretty ribbon at the end tying this story all together. No shiny, happy ending. I'm not going to give anything away, but if you happen to make it all the way through this book, there's nothing really that can redeem the story and make you go away smiling...even though the attempt is made.

The story follows two women and their lives in war-torn Afghanistan. The book is split in sections, which alternate POVs from one woman to the other - with section 3 alternating by chapter. The first woman, Mariam, is born in the late 1950s, the illegitimate daughter of a rich cinema owner and a maid. She grows up in a hut (kolba) that her father built for Mariam and her mother, knowing that they couldn't stay in his household (because, you know, it's okay to have children with your three wives, but once you have one with your maid, then your honor is disgraced). Mariam grows up being constantly reminded of her status as a "harami" (bastard child) by her mother, and always being told that she would never amount to anything. When her mother kills herself, Mariam (age 15) goes to live with her father, who quickly arranges her to be married to a man several decades her senior. Rasheed makes shoes for diplomats in Kabul, and so Mariam is quickly put on a bus with a strange man to ride to her new home across the country. Though Mariam tries to be a good wife to Rasheed, things go downhill once she is unable to provide Rasheed with the son he so desperately wants.

The second woman in the story is a young girl named Laila who is born in 1979 - right on the cusp of Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. Laila is born in Kabul, across the street from Rasheed and Mariam, to a university-educated teacher father and his wife, Fariba. Babi and Mammy, as Laila refers to them, are progressive, and Laila is allowed many freedoms that more traditional Afghans (like Rasheed) view as disgraceful. Laila's best friend is Tariq, a boy just a year older than she, who lost a leg to a land mine at the age of 5. Laila and Tariq are inseperable, until Tariq's family finally makes the decision to flee Afghanistan, in the mid-1990s. The two share a moment of indiscretion before Tariq evacuates with his family, and Laila refuses to leave with him and abandon her parents, who are torn up over the deaths of her two older brothers at the hands of the ongoing war.

A couple of weeks later, Laila and her family are packing up to leave Kabul when their house is bombed. Laila's parents are both killed, but Laila manages to survive, and is nursed back to health by Mariam, who has watched the young girl grow up. Rasheed decides Laila would be a perfect second wife, and his proposal is swiftly accepted by Laila...who is now six weeks pregnant with Tariq's baby and is terrified of trying to flee Afghanistan alone in her condition and have a baby in a refugee camp.

Thus the two stories intertwine, and Laila, Mariam, and Rasheed become one of the most disfunctional families ever. The entire book is set against the backdrop of constant civil war...first the warlords against the Soviets, then the warlords against each other, then the warlords against the Taliban, and so forth. The tragic twist comes in seeing these events from the prospective of women in the 1990s who are robbed of even basic freedoms - walking down the street, learning, entertainment.

This isn't the type of book I would normally read in my free time. For one thing, it's the exact opposite of escapism. I found myself needing to escape from the story several times, and even had a couple of bad dreams (I won't call them nightmares) about events in the book. But it's also infectious. The author's storytelling style is riveting. I had to keep reading, through all the atrocities of the book, to find out what happened to these women. I was rooting for them both at every twist and turn. My heart ached for them, and yearned for better things for them both.

Ultimately, I am glad I read this book. It is haunting, but it drew me in from the very beginning. It certainly put life in perspective for me...and made me very grateful that I was born in the United States and not Afghanistan. Reading this book was an eye-opening experience, and one I'm glad I had. I would recommend it to anyone who has the gumption to take on a book with such a grim subject matter. Though I wouldn't say it was fun, this was definitely an Important read. When a book changes me, the way I think and feel...that's a sign of a good book.

I'll spend my golden years in Vancouver

2009-03-17T12:10:00.001-05:00

Trying out a new blog prompt from Plinky...let's see how this works!

Great city, beautiful scenery, walkability, cool temperatures, ocean frontage...oh yeah, and Universal Healthcare

An award? For me?

2009-03-12T14:55:00.003-05:00

Yep, it's true...I got an award!

"This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement!

Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!

Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this clever-written text into the body of their award."

Cool, huh? Isn't it pretty? I received this award from TWO lovely bloggers - Mariah at Take a Walk With Me and Carie at Love, Life and Everything in Between.

Unfortunately, because the award has now circulated among the bloggers I know, I don't have anyone to share the love with. But I am extremely honored and I really appreciate the award!

Burj Dubai

2009-03-09T11:59:00.003-05:00

This is incredible.

I'm a citynerd at heart, and this building fascinates me. Skyscrapers fascinate me. The sad part of this is that I've heard rumors that they're already having trouble with the Burj Dubai, which will be the world's tallest building upon completion. The word is that there's no way there will be enough office workers and residents to fill all the space in the myriad new towers springing up in Dubai, especially the Burj Dubai. I suppose only time will tell. I'm glad GMA took the time to show a segment on this awesome building, because I have a feeling I'll never see it in person.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2009-03-09T09:24:00.003-05:00

Time for my weekend wrap-up!

Saturday night Branden and I went to a "Stock the Bar" shower for a friend of mine who is getting married on April 3. It was a really creative way to get the couple plenty of booze. The hostess mailed out a card with a drink recipe along with the invitation, and we were to buy supplies to make that drink. We lucked out getting the Cape Codder. It was super easy - vodka & cranberry juice. I found a cool gift set of Stoli vodka with two martini glasses, so I got that, plus the cranberry juice (Ocean Spray, of course!) and I even got a couple of limes for the garnish. (I'm always one for completeness).

The party itself was off the hook. (Am I too old to use that phrase?). Julia and Stuart have great friends - even a couple that I already knew from college (Stuart left A&M-Commerce right as I was getting there...and his best man's wife was in my music fraternity! Small world indeed.) Beyond the good company, there was yumm food and a nice hot tub. Branden and I were the only ones to take advantage of that, but I didn't mind that we had the hot tub to ourselves. We had to seize the opportunity since we don't have access to one where we live.

Sunday brought a nice, lazy morning. We had a late breakfast at Urban Market after sleeping in, and didn't do much until it was time to leave. A co-worker suggested to me a couple of weeks ago that we join her for a performance of "One Man Star Wars Trilogy" , which was playing at WaterTower Theatre's Out of the Loop festival. So the three of us (downtown residents all) made the trek up to Addison to check out the sci-fi nerdiness. The play consists of one man, dressed all in black, acting out the entire Star Wars Trilogy in about an hour. It was quite well done, but I'd say about 80% of it went completely over my head. Branden and Katie had a great time, though, so it was worth it. The three of us went out to dinner afterwards, and then Katie invited us up to see her (parents') fat pad at One Arts Plaza. It was AMAZING. They don't just have a view of downtown...they have THE view of downtown. You can see for miles from their huge balcony. We also had the pleasure of talking to her father for a while, which was really wonderful. He and Branden really hit it off. It just so happens that Katie's father has a degree in City Planning...which is what Branden is studying right now! It was the perfect end to a wonderful day. I leave you with a picture of the man behind One Man Star Wars. He also does One Man Lord of the Rings, which I would LOVE to see some day!

Since I've been slacking

2009-03-06T12:09:00.004-06:00

I thought I'd better post something, so I don't fall into the "dead blog" trap. But this is going to be the lazy woman's version of blogging.

First, though, a bit of good news. I lost 2.2 lbs my first week of "March = Courtney's Fitness Month." I haven't taken advantage of the free month of membership at Elevation Fitness yet. I dunno why, but places like that always intimidate me, even though I used to work in a rec center. All those fancy machines, and people with good bodies who know how to use them (the machines, not their bodies...though I'm sure they know that too).

Anyway, on to the lazy part of this post. Two really cool things were pointed out to me this morning...and I'm just going to link to my friend's blogs where they have already posted them.

First up...new Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer!!!
Smash's blog where it's posted

Next...HOTTIE McHOTNESS! The most gorgeous vampire ever...
Carie's blog, where you can see all the deliciousness

How's that for efficiency? No need for me to take the time to post stuff when it's already been done for me!

Looking forward to a good weekend. Tomorrow night is my friend Julia's "Stock the Bar" shower. Should be lots of fun, with good drinks and cool people and a heated pool! Can't wait. Then Sunday I'm taking Branden somewhere fun, but I can't post it here because it's a surprise. Yeah, I'm cheesy with the surprises. But I'll post a weekend wrap-up later because I know you're all waiting with bated breath. (Yes, all 6 of you).

That's all I've got for now. Except that I can't wait for July and HBP!!! (That's Half-Blood Prince for you non-HP fans out there).

I won!

2009-02-25T20:48:00.004-06:00

I just got back from the Downtown Resident's Council meeting (the first one I've been able to attend in many months)...and I won a door prize!! There were several handed out, but I won the perfect one for me. The meeting was held at Elevation Fitness Club in the office building catty-corner to our apartment (we can see it from our kitchen window), aka Carie's building cuz that's where she works. My door prize was....a 1 month membership to Elevation and a free personal training session!!

I am really super excited about this prize, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I had already decided that March was going to be the month I got my butt back in gear about shaping up and losing weight...and then this falls in my lap! It's definitely a sign. I have no idea whether I'll continue my membership after the month is over. Dues aren't too bad, but if I'm going to pay to go workout somewhere, I'm kinda leaning towards the downtown Y, because they have a pool....something our apartment building is sadly lacking. So we'll see...a lot depends on how much I enjoy working out over there and how good their class offerings are. I can't wait though...this is beyond perfect!

And I think now that I've put it out there that I'm going to start shaping up in March...I can't back down now! That's some motivation there. :)

Along with the personal training session, we also had some wonderful and informative talks from several downtown stakeholders...including DART, Hamilton Properties, and even Jason's Deli, which just opened a location in downtown last year, and just started staying open for residents (meaning, past 5:00 PM on weekdays) a month ago. Downtown Dallas is making strides in becoming a better residential neighborhood...but we still have a long way to go. It's nice to feel like a part of something special though. And winning a nice door prize doesn't hurt, either.

Hilariously funny

2009-02-20T14:53:00.001-06:00

Love it.

2009-02-20T14:36:00.004-06:00

Got this little gem from my friend Smash. Yep, I steal lotsa goodies from her. Content provided by the Friday fill-ins blog.

My answers are in a lovely shade of green.

1. Give me good queso and I'll make sure it gets eaten.
2. Whenever I see a baby, it makes me want one. Pronto.
3. I wish we could move to NYC and magically afford to live there, plus have family close by.
4. Chicken flautas from Sol Irlande's (last night's dinner) was the last thing I ate that was utterly delicious.
5. To live in this world is better than not living!
6. Other than this one, Carie's blog is the last blog I commented on.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to see a movie, tomorrow my plans include being lazy and Sunday, I want to be lazy some more!

Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T20:27:00.006-06:00

(The note I left for Branden on Friday...just had to make sure all and, ya know?)

I know lots of people think Valentine's Day is a silly, manufactured holiday...and a day to be dreaded if you don't have a date. I definitely see those points of view, but I do enjoy a good Valentine's Day celebration. I have to say, the day's been pretty good to me the last few years. Valentine's Day 2006 was the first time Branden told me he loved me, by writing (and reciting) a poem. We've had a couple other good Valentine's days in between then and now, but this one, we both agreed, was our best yet.

The afternoon began while Branden was doing a basketball PA announcing gig at a local community college. I took advantage of the time alone in the house to set up a little presentation for my gift to him.

I also attempted to make heart-shaped cookies. Because the local grocery store didn't have premade sugar cookie dough, and I didn't allow enough time to make any from scratch, I had to go with peanut butter cookies. I knew it wouldn't be a perfect substitute, but I was in a pinch. They tasted great, but they came out a little puffed up. Oh well...I guess you could say, in lingo I learned online, that I "super puffy heart" my husband. (Cheesy, I know).

After everything was set up, I patiently (or not so patiently) waited for him to come home and see it all! The reveal was a great success, and he even had a present for me...

Beautiful roses! Love them!!!

We left the apartment a little after 7:30, headed to our mystery destination. This year, I did most of the planning...we felt like a very enlightened, modern couple, and it was nice to be the one doing the treating. Plus, I just love planning things like this!

Our first mystery destination was Daddy Jack's Wood Grill in Deep Ellum. They had a three-course special which we both enjoyed. Branden started with lobster bisque, had an entree of rib-eye steak, and finished with a death by chocolate pastry. I started with an appetizer of quail with cous cous, had a lobster tail entree (yum!), and finished with the heart-shaped chocolate cake. It was all quite delicious, and the atmosphere was great, complete with a jazz trio playing in the adjoining dining room. At first I was a little disappointed that we weren't closer to the music, but it ended up being perfect, because it was just loud enough to be background music, and we could still make conversation without yelling at each other.

After dinner, we still had an hour to kill before our next destination, so we got some hot chocolate at a coffee shop/church in Deep Ellum. Would you believe that two such combination coffee/worship shops exist in Deep Ellum? Crazy, huh?

Here we are, dressed in our V-day finest:

That wrap, by the way, was made by my mom! It was originally intended to be worn on our carriage ride leaving our wedding reception...but that didn't exactly happen. I wore it anyway, on the exit to the town car. That's a story for another blog...

Back to the date...our final activity of the night was a trip to Ad-Libs for their late show. I can't give them enough raves. We both had a blast. I've always loved improv comedy, so I don't know what took us so long to check this out. Now that it's only a few blocks away from us in Deep Ellum, we definitely plan to check it out more often! Several of our suggestions made it into the show, which always feels a bit gratifying...and I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard!!

All in all, a wonderful night. We're still basking in the afterglow today. Even if it is a manufactured holiday, I'm glad for a day to take time out and celebrate love.

Sushi & an interview

2009-02-12T20:36:00.007-06:00

Let me just say that I love sushi. I just adore it. I cannot say enough good things about the wonderfulness that is sushi.

Even better than good sushi is having good sushi with good friends. Tonight I got to experience just that, when I met some great people out for dinner at a sushi place just a couple of blocks from my office. Incidentally, the restaurant (Sushi Sapporo) is the exact place where I lost my sushi-virginity. It was way back in the summer of 2004 (yes, I'm still relatively new to sushi, but that doesn't mean my love for it isn't pure and true and oh so strong). I met my climbing buddy, Mitzi, at that very restaurant, and she helped me through the experience. I was hooked from the very first bite. I have moved on from Mitzi, and even from climbing, but to sushi I remain true. Tonight I had salmon sushi and the jalapeno roll, my first stab at a fried roll (yum!). Oh and boy was it HOT! Loved it.

So here I am with my lovely ladies, Ashley and Christina:

In honor of the occasion, I came home and put on my sushi socks:

Yes, I have sushi socks. Doesn't everyone? I got them at Nordstrom's, with a $20 gift card I'd been carrying around for years. Finally one day, on a trip to NorthPark with my mom, I decided to try to spend it. I joked with her that the only thing I'd be able to get at Nordstrom's for $20 was a pair of socks. Well, I actually got several pairs of socks, so I guess I was a little off.

**************************SUBJECT CHANGE*****************************************

(Subtle, huh?)

Interview time! I got the following "meme" (if you've been following my blog, you'll know what that means...if not, well, it's basically a fancy word for "survey") from Smash. If you'd like me to pass along the interview meme love, just let me know and I'll think up some questions for ya. :)

1.) What is your favorite building in Dallas? I have two answers for this one. My favorite skyscraper in Dallas is Fountain Place. I love how it looks different from every angle. Oh and the fact that it was designed by I.M. Pei doesn't hurt, either.

My "other" favorite building in Dallas, for sentimental reasons, is the Old Red Courthouse, where we got married. Yes, I'm shamelessly using this question to show off yet another wedding picture. I'm proud of them...so sue me.

2.) What is the best thing about being married, so far? The worst? Best thing so far is the security in knowing I have a husband...someone who loves me enough to commit his life to me. That is an amazing feeling. The worst is trying to live up to my own standards of what a good wife is. I wonder if I'll ever get there! But there's no harm in trying, right?

3.) What is your favorite tv show of all time? I'm really struggling to come up with an "all time" favorite. I have a few that I really like, but none that seems to absolutely come out on top. My favorite game show is Press Your Luck...my favorite reality show is Amazing Race...my favorite sitcom is probably Friends, or maybe Sex and the City (or is that more of a drama?)...my favorite currently airing drama would have to be Grey's Anatomy...and my favorite guilty pleasure show is Gossip Girl (though I'm still on season 1).

4.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do for a living? I would live in NYC and run an organic/earth friendly baby boutique. I think that would be awesome.

5.) When you make a sandwhich, do you cut it into triangles or in half? Actually neither. I just put it together and start eating it! The sandwich I had for lunch was cut in half diagonally, so I guess that's triangles, but not quartered...but that was a Jason's Deli sandwich, so that doesn't count.

Fall down go boom!

2009-02-05T19:47:00.005-06:00

Yep, that's what I did last night.

It all started when I was fussing with the baby gate at the bottom of our stairs, before bed. Branden told me to go on upstairs and he'd put it up. The gate is there to keep the dogs out...otherwise Jock will peruse the litterbox for treats, and Pepper has been injuring himself going down the stairs (such steep steps are hard on a basset hound's short little legs). Anywho, Branden got the gate up, and we went upstairs. Then I realized that the heater was still turned up, and since heat rises, the upstairs area is always around 10 degrees warmer than downstairs. So I headed down the steps to adjust the thermostat. It was dark, and I wasn't really watching where I was going. I got to the gate, and swung my leg over as I usually do. Except this time, the gate was up higher than normal - right up against the bottom step. So the ground was much further away, and I lost my balance and pitched forward - way forward. Faceplant onto the (fortunately carpeted) landing. OUCH!!!!!! Pain, oh the pain. I landed on my right arm...so hat part is pretty sore. And twisted at the waist...so my lower back, especially on the left side...that part hurts a bunch too. I feel all kinds of sore, like you would the day after an auto accident. Ugh.

Branden was great...he immediately ran down to check on me, and helped me back upstairs before he went to fix the thermostat. He called this morning to check on me. And his co-workers even got me a get well soon card, signed by several of his fellow officers, and a box of chocolates. So sweet!! It was exactly what I needed after a very stressful day at work. I won't go into the details of it here. I'll just say, I miss the old days at the DWS, where I had autonomy to work on projects myself and I didn't feel like such a drone. Where my opinion actually counted for something. I cry a lot, I'll admit...but not often at work. Today, I did just that. Thank goodness my awesome work-buddy Julia was there to help out! We went out and had greasy hamburgers at Hunky's for lunch. It's amazing what a little fattening food will do! Afternoon at work wasn't much better, so it was great to come home to the card, the chocolates, and my wonderful husband, who took me out to dinner at Jason's Deli before heading off to class. I'm now hanging out in bed with my computer in my lap, my cat next to me, the dogs hanging out at my feet (yeah, I let them upstairs...just this once!) and LOTR: The Two Towers on the DVD player. Nice, relaxing evening. In fact, I think I'll go pay more attention to the movie now...and work on feeling better.

My Wedding Video, and other such happenings

2009-02-04T15:44:00.005-06:00

So we finally got our long-awaited, much-anticipated Wedding Teaser Video from the wonderful Adam Kegg w/Random Pictures Productions. He stresses that this is just a rough edit, but I'm already super excited and can't wait to get the full DVD from him, hopefully this weekend!

Feast your eyes on this...

Courtney and Branden's Wedding Highlights from Adam Kegg on Vimeo.

In other news, I've been working on Valentine's Day for Branden, and I think he's really going to enjoy it. I can't say anything else...but I'll definitely let you loyal blogreaders know how it goes after the fact!

Work is going well...I'm just swimming in numbers and spreadsheets as I continue my transition into something resembling my department's de facto liaison with Finance. It's enjoyable, but turns me cross-eyed after spending an entire day staring at Excel!

In book news, I've gotten through almost my entire stack of books I checked out at the beginning of January (basically all those residing on my shelfari over there). So far, I've really enjoyed the whole lot. Every single book I've read has captured me in one form or another. Even Marley and Me, which has gotten mixed reviews from some of my peers, really spoke to a part of me. Well, a couple parts of me - the animal lover part and the wants-to-have-a-baby part of me. I found it delightful and charming and even insightful.

My latest finish was Something Blue, which I just adored. I never thought I'd like it as much as Something Borrowed, but lo and behold - I like it even better, if that's possible! That Emily Giffin is a clever one, the way she can twist characters and make you love them even when you're not supposed to or don't want to. According to OperaWife and confirmed by Emily Giffin's website, Hilary Swank has purchased the film options to both of those books. I'm very excited to see how they turn out, but I'm really hoping she won't be starring in either of them. She doesn't really fit the image of Rachel, and she's definitely not a Darcy. I found a suggestion online that Malin Akerman would make a good Darcy, and at least from the looks of her, I'd tend to agree. No idea what her acting chops are like though, and Darcy would take some...especially going into Something Blue.

By far the meatiest of the books on my list was Water for Elephants. Whereas I feel like I'm dining on ice cream...really, really good ice cream, like the $4 pints from Ben & Jerry's (Peanut Butter Cup is my favorite). But reading WFE, I felt like I was having a really hearty meal. It wasn't a hard read, by any shade of the imagination...it just felt much more substantial and meaningful. And I lurrrved it.

I think I've rambled on enough for now. Enjoy the video, and I shall blog again soon!

YouTube + Classical Music =

2009-01-29T19:51:00.009-06:00

In the category of "I can't believe I hadn't heard of this until now", I bring you the YouTube Symphony Orchestra. Since I'm a big believer in not creating work when it's already been done for you, here's the description from the site:

"Play your part in music history. Interested in joining the first-ever collaborative online orchestra? Professionals and amateur musicians of all ages, locations and instruments are welcome to audition for the YouTube Symphony Orchestra by submitting a video performance of a new piece written for the occasion by the renowned Chinese composer Tan Dun (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon). We have tools to help you learn the music, rehearse with the conductor, and upload your part for the collaborative video. And how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice and upload. Send us your talent video performance from a list of recommended pieces. Finalists will be chosen by a judging panel and YouTube users to travel to New York in April 2009, to participate in the YouTube Symphony Orchestra summit, and play at Carnegie Hall under the direction of Michael Tilson Thomas.The deadline for all video submissions is January 28, 2009. "

I'm sorry, but that's just too friggin' cool. Had this come along when I was still in my clarinet days, I very well might've posted a video entry. As it is, I've been watching a few of the clarinet entries (a very few) and here's one that caught my eye. She starts off with a couple of orchestral excerpts, but watch at least until 3:40, which is when the video shifts to a performance of the Adagio movement of Mozart's Clarinet Concerto, complete with a string orchestra accompaniment and a big, fancy dress! I'm voting for this girl.

CityLove

23 months, or 702 days, or 1, 010, 880 minutes

From the pages of Abercrombie & Fitch, Toddler edition...

Hello, 2012!

Santa Claus is coming...

Baby's first...girlfriend?!

I just had to see you

18 months!

A couple of funny stories...

Videos!

17

Our new, grown-up apartment!

Two years ago...

We're moving!

Cosmic Cousin Connection

14 months, 1 week, and 4 days

More Ben videos!!

Rough times

National Infertility Awareness Week

And he's off!

My First 5K!

We have a walker!

At this rate, he'll be starting high school soon!

Computer problems suck!

Transitions...

In my other life...

Making Quesadillas...

Benjamin's First Year

A Letter to my Son

My Breastfeeding Journey

Tonight, I held him and I cried

Babies Don't Keep

One Year Ago Today...

4 months already?!

Dance Magic baby

Date night, and Ben laughing!

I have two blogs

Ben Update

Today, I am not going to worry

A day in the life...

Ben's First Month

Meet Baby Benjamin!

Update...

Big Baby?

A Shared Pain

Nursery Pictures!!

Stolen

Nursery Sneak Peek

32 weeks, and all is well!

Makin' cookies

You are what you read?

December, in pictures

So special

First Anniversary Celebration!

Fun Shopping Day

I've Grown!

Date Night!

He is Gone

Surfacing

Our Baby!

It doesn't get any easier...

Things that make me happy

A Great Weekend

Catching up

I have been blogging...

We're having a baby!

What Cancer Cannot Do

Gilda's Club

Father's Day

I figured I should post

Weekend Wrap-Up

Book Meme

Dog Bowl

A Surprise from my husband

Branden Update

I am not okay

Sleeeeeepy

Belated Easter Post

Harry Potter contest!

We have a date!