Collective Soul

I know that a rock band might seem like an odd choice for the subject of a blog post on a Mommy blog, but hear me out.  This band is not only my favorite, but has become so indelibly woven into the fabric of my life over the years that I just had to document it to share with the world.

It all started in 1997.  I was 16 years old, and a huge concert called Rockfest '97 was taking place at the Texas Motor Speedway, just a few hours south of where I was living at the time (Ada, OK).  It ended up being an epic experience for so many reasons, but the most lasting thing that came out of it was my love for the band Collective Soul, which I hadn't really known about until the event.

After the concert, I purchased their latest album, Discplined Breakdown, and immediately fell in love.  The obsession was born.

The very early days of social media led me to discussion board and email groups full of other CS fans.  I even met and began corresponding with a couple of friends in Oklahoma who were equally as passionate as I quickly became.  We later met in person and became good friends, and though we've all gone our separate ways, we're still in touch today - thanks to Facebook, of course!

So far sounds like a pretty typical fan experience, right?  I've seen them in concert at least 9 times, all across Texas and Oklahoma.  Every time has been equally amazing.  I've attended free concerts at festivals, seen them play at college stadiums and arenas, and even at least one venue that no longer exists.  One of the coolest experiences was getting to take promo photos of them when they played the venue at the Citizen Potawatomi Nation's FireLake Grand Casino.  My dad happens to be in charge of Public Information for the tribe, and we were allowed to stand right in front of the stage and take pictures with fancy cameras for the first couple of songs. 

But the coolest part of it all (even cooler than meeting the band) has been how their music has been weaved into the very fabric of my life.  Collective Soul has become my soundtrack.

• When I married my husband, I walked down the aisle to an instrumental piece, called Pretty Donna, from CS' first album. 
• Our first dance as husband and wife was to Adored, from their album Afterwords.
• When my father died, the song I selected for his service was Hymn for My Father, from their latest album, nicknamed "Rabbit" for the cover art, but officially self-titled.
• When my son was born, the first song I had them play in the birthing room was Tremble for My Beloved, which the band's lead singer wrote for his own son.

Not only that, but when I was newly pregnant with my son, I had the pleasure of seeing the band perform at House of Blues in Dallas - just a mile away from our home.  And to put the cherry on top, Mr. CityLove and I have tickets to see them perform at the same venue two weeks from Sunday - so this baby will get to go to a CS concert in utero just like his/her big brother did!

Collective Soul has definitely been a huge part of my life over the last 15 years, and I hope I can pass along a love and appreciation for their music to my children.  Either that, or they'll just roll their eyes and laugh at me for listening to such "old-fashioned music."  We'll see!

Some news, and braggin' on my boy

So I attempted to get more serious with this blog...and then what happens but a major life event that threw all my thoughts into a tizzy and rendered me unable to think about anything else.

Of what could I be speaking?  Oh, just this...



Yep, we found out in February that we're expecting our second little CityBaby, due sometime around October 26 (which is smack-dab between my birthday - the 24th - and my mom's - the 27th). 

After the initial shock wore off, we began to get used to the idea.  We've since been to see the midwives at the birth center where Benjamin was born, and heard a beautiful, strong heartbeat at 160 bpm.  Our next appointment isn't for another month, but at that one, we'll get to schedule our ultrasound - we're all excited to find out if Benjamin's getting a baby brother or a baby sister!

On another note, I must brag about all of Benji's accomplishments lately. He's growing and changing so quickly these days, it's amazing!  What's he up to now?

At 25 months, he...

• Can sing the ABCs
• Can count to 13 in English, and we even heard him dabbling in some Spanish counting once
• Can sing/recite at least 5 songs/nursery rhymes, almost in their entirety ("One, Two, Buckle My Shoe", "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "Baa Baa Black Sheep", "Ring Around the Rosie" and "Happy Birthday to You")
• Carries on short conversations and speaks in increasingly longer/more complex sentences
• Has started reciting a couple of his favorite bedtime stories, including "Brown Bear, Brown Bear"
• Loves to help with laundry, setting the table, and other simple chores

Benjamin is a goofball - so full of energy and enthusiasm.  He's also headstrong and often defiant.  And at the same time, he's such a sweet, loving little boy.  He loves hugs and kisses (as long as he's in the right mood) and tickling and snuggling up in mama's lap, especially for bedtime stories.  I rue the day I don't have a lap for him to sit in anymore, but I know he'll just sit in front of me and snuggle up as close as he can.

My little guy still looooves his trains.  We took him to see his beloved Thomas at Day Out with Thomas a couple of weeks ago, and he had a blast. 

He also loves seeing the trains on his walk to daycare every morning.  This morning we were running early, so we hopped on the train and rode down one stop (it's on the way to daycare, it's just usually faster to walk than wait on the train to take us those few blocks).  Of course he loved that special treat!

And lastly, I'll leave you with some of my guy's favorite phrases, which we hear many times a day around our household...

"I'ga do it"
"No like it!"
"I want milk!" "I want water!"
"What doin', Mama?"
"I fall down!" (said with a laugh, as most of his falls these days are on purpose)
"Help, help, Mama!"
"Where Daddy go?"
"Where goin', Daddy?"

Two years ago...

Two years ago today, our lives changed forever, with one tiny digital word...

It was a Monday morning, and though I wanted to hold out until Tuesday to take that test, I'm glad I didn't.  It sure did start our week off with a bang!

And in a crazy parallel with this week...two years ago this weekend, we told my parents we were having a baby.  When did we tell them?  Right after we went and saw "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince".  This Saturday, we're going to see the final installment of the series (Deathly Hallows Pt. 2, for you non-Potternerds).

A lot has changed in the last two years.  We're going, regrettably, without Wayne, as we did for the last film as well.  And we'll be leaving our little toddler with a babysitter.

Crazy to think that in two years, he's gone from this:

Barely even an embryo yet

To this!



A walking, talking, pointing at everything toddler!

I'm glad we have Ben now, but boy do I miss Wayne at times like these.

National Infertility Awareness Week

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), and all of my (IRL and online) friends who have dealt with infertility (IF), I'm blogging to bust an infertility myth.

Myth:  Infertility isn't all that common - I don't know anyone who's dealt with it.

Not true!  The problem is, infertility is still taboo.  It's not talked about - it's whispered about in back rooms.  Men and women who struggle to conceive on their own often hide their feelings - crying in private, month after month, as the negative pregnancy tests pile up.  They feel shame when they have to make an appointment to seek medical help.  "Why couldn't we just get pregnant on our own?"  "It's so easy for so many people!"  "Teenagers can get pregnant from one drunk night!  What's wrong with me?!"  "I'm broken!  I'm not a woman because I can't get pregnant."

If we just spoke up a little more, perhaps infertility wouldn't feel so alienating.  I hope I don't sound insincere, because I haven't dealt with IF first hand.  But I know so many women who have, and it pains me that they have to suffer in relative silence.  It frustrates me that so many insurance companies still don't cover IF treatment.  It saddens me that many of my friends have had to pay tens of thousands of dollars just for the chance to get pregnant.

If you'd like to know more about infertility, please visit the Resolve website.

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, this is what I saw...



Then there was this...



Followed by this...



And now this!



I can't believe it's been a year since that positive pregnancy test! This past year has been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. But ultimately, I have the best gift ever to show for it - my beautiful son, Benjamin James.

Update...

On the Pregosaur blog. I'm lazy and didn't feel like posting it twice. :o)

Nursery Sneak Peek

We started work on painting the nursery last weekend. For a full detail of what we plan on doing with the room, check out my latest post on Pregosaur.

I'm going to hold off on any "results" pictures until we get a few more things up on the wall, but here are a few sneak peeks to tide you over...

Branden taping off our design:

The letters that will go over the crib, painted in the same colors as our wall design:

The painting is all done, and the tape is down. I must say, I absolutely love what we did! I hope to make some more progress this weekend, so stay tuned for more pictures!

32 weeks, and all is well!

I figured it was high time for an update here, since I haven't posted in almost three weeks! I'm 32 weeks pregnant now. The picture above was taken on Wednesday. What's been going on lately? Well...

Last Saturday, we had our first baby shower!!! It was sooo much fun! By the end of the day, my face hurt from smiling so much. We got tons of great gifts, and had a blast with all the friends who were there. After the shower, we went out to dinner with my mom, and she gave us even more clothes! Here's Ben's closet now:

He had maybe a third of that before the shower on Saturday. And every single thing is just so stinkin' cute...I can't wait to dress my son in these adorable outfits!

Wednesday the 27th was Wayne's birthday. Not a good day. Very emotional. After a long, trying day at work, I went to visit his plaque at the cemetery and had a good talk with him. I really miss him...the sound of his voice...his laugh...and I try to think of what he would say if he were still here. I hope I'm making him proud. I know he'd enjoy watching me get bigger and bigger. We talked a lot about the baby before he passed away, and I know he was so excited for us. I suspect he's still watching, and is still excited. Even though Ben will never get to meet his Grandpa Wayne, he's going to know alllll about him!

I got a good surprise today...and haven't even gotten to see it yet. I got a phone call from the Fed Ex delivery guy saying that I had a large package, and asking if I was home to receive it. Unfortunately, I wasn't. He then told me it looked like a mattress, and was from Babies R Us! Aww, a surprise delivery off of our registry! I had him deliver it to our doorstep, and then got hold of Branden so he could run home and put it inside. Of course, he put it in the crib. I can't wait to see it! Now we have something to put those mattress sheets on that we got at the shower!

Not very exciting, but there's a picture of the mattress from the Babies R Us listing.

Oh, and our mystery gifter? It was my mom! Thanks, Nana!!!

You are what you read?

I've always thought that the books a person reads are an interesting insight into their personality. This blog post by my friend Smash over at Great Books and Fresh Coffee really got me thinking. What has my 2009 reading list looked like?

Now, there has been some pleasure reading mixed in with all of this...but just take a look:

The bible of fertility...I actually recommend this for any woman who wants to really know about how their body works. I was amazed at how much I learned about female fertility that I didn't know until I read the book! There actually is a natural fertility method explained in the book, which involves charting your waking temperatures and following other fertility signs so that you can actually know when you ovulate. With help from the website Fertility Friend, I charted for three months - two months to avoid, and then we were able to get pregnant the first month we tried. All because of what I learned from this book.

So of course, after finding out that I was "with child" (that term cracks me up for some reason), I had to find out what to expect from this crazy ride called pregnancy. Great book, and I plan on picking it back up soon to read the final section on the third trimester, now that I'm there.

A great (and very comprehensive book) not only on how to save money on baby gear but also with a wealth of information on what you do and don't need, what products are worth the money, which ones are reasonable extravagances, and so on. Tons of great reviews - I would've been lost trying to create a baby registry without this book.

Another book that came highly recommended for information on baby products. I enjoyed some of the reviews, but I didn't rely on this one as much as Baby Bargains, surprisingly. Still a good reference tool, though.

And my latest read, which I just started a few days ago. I realized about a week ago that in just a few months, we're going to have a baby, and I really need to start learning what I should expect from this amazing creature.

Interestingly enough, I rarely actually buy books - and almost never for full price. As the daughter of a librarian, I make heavy use of my library card. But I have purchased each and every one of these books, and I'm glad I did - they're all excellent reference tools, and I find myself constantly referring back to many of them.

Fun Shopping Day

This past Sunday, my mom and I had a nice day full of shopping and mother-daughter time. We started off at the mall. After Sears and another quick stop, we headed up to Motherhood Maternity. I needed to pick up a couple things, and my mom surprised me by telling me that she was going to pay for whatever I bought! And then, she made me buy even more than I had planned on getting! I ended up with 3 new shirts, a new sweater, and a really nice new purple pea coat - one that actually buttons around my belly!

After we left the mall, we made the trek up to Frisco to visit Ikea. Mom had several pieces of furniture she wanted to pick up (and of course she had checked them all out online first!). We started off walking through the showroom. Before heading down to pick up the furniture, we stopped by the restaurant for a late lunch. Mom had the Swedish meatballs (and they were yum - I know because I helped her out a little!) and I had a chicken caesar salad and a bowl of fruit. Bellies full, we headed down to pick up the furniture. I didn't leave the store empty-handed, mind you. I found a couple of pillow covers for the pillows on the couch, so that they now coordinate with the slip-covered couch in our living room. And I couldn't resist buying a few packs of cute, multi-colored kid's clothes hangers. I'm sure those will come in handy soon!

After all that shopping, we headed back to Arlington, unloaded the car, and settled on to my mom's new sectional sofa to watch some figure skating. Perfect end to a great day with one of my favorite people in the whole world!

In other news, Branden and I finally got the Christmas tree and decorations up last night, at his urging. I was ready to just not bother with it, but I'm really glad he insisted. It looks great, and I had a good time hanging ornaments with him and listening to John Denver & the Muppets singing Christmas songs (only the best Christmas CD ever!).

Tonight was Branden's last final for the semester, so he's officially done until January! Four more classes down. I must confess, I am so very proud of him and all the hard work he's putting into this degree. I know it's for all of us and our future, and I just can't express enough how much it means to me that he's devoting so much time and energy to getting this degree.

And last but certainly not least, the baby seems to be doing well! Since being put on the low-carb diet by my midwife, I've lost at least 2 lbs - and yes, that's a good thing! Ben's kicking up a storm, and I just love feeling him all the time now.

Here I am just a few minutes ago. Twenty-five weeks pregnant today! And I'm wearing my new sweater also. :o)

I've Grown!

Just for fun, I thought it might be interesting to compare my 21 week picture with my 24 week picture, especially since I'm essentially wearing the same outfit. Here I am 3 weeks ago, at 21 weeks:


And here I am today, at 24 weeks:

I don't know about you, but I can definitely tell a difference!

According to Babycenter.com, our little Benjamin is about a foot long right now, and weighs a little over a pound! He seems to be growing well, and he's kicking up a storm these days - though still not really strong enough for Branden to feel, except for one little kick he barely felt last week.

Childbirth class is going well. We have our third session (of 8) this Saturday. We've already gotten a lot of good relaxation techniques to use, and I'm sure we'll learn lots more before all is said and done. Our checkups with the midwife at the Birth Center are going really well - I really love both of the midwives, and will be happy to have either one assist us with our birth! I did get a bit of a talking to at the last appointment - I'm gaining weight a little too quickly, so I've been put on a low-carb diet full of protein and veggies and told to exercise every day. So far I'm doing pretty well, and I'm already starting to feel better as a result of my healthier eating and increased exercise. Amazing how that works!

That's it for now...except that I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Saturday is the Adolphus Children's Parade here in downtown, which I'm hoping to catch a little bit of before we have to take off for class. Sunday I'm having a mother-daughter day with my mom - we're going shopping and lunching. Can't wait!

Catching up

For those of you who haven't been following me as Citysaur on the Pregosaur blog, I thought it would be nice to have a little update over here on how things have been going.

On the pregnancy front, I am now safely ensconced in the 2nd trimester. Today marks 15 weeks of pregnancy. Our little one is now 4 inches long, and has reflexes, facial movements (like frowning and squinting) and is sensitive to light (they say if you shine a light on the belly, baby will move away from it). I'm not showing much yet, though I can definitely tell I'm getting bigger. My regular pants are all but obsolete now. And it will probably still be a while before I can feel little baby movements (it generally takes longer if you have a little more "padding", shall we say!). As far as I can tell, everything is going well in there. We had an appointment with the Birth and Women's Center, where we will be delivering, on September 14. It was a great appointment - we got to hear baby's heartbeat, which was a healthy 166 BPM. Things seem to be going along swimmingly so far! And we'll find out on October 26 whether it's a little girl or a little boy in there!

Branden's still doing quite well in school - he even got a scholarship award this year! He's taking 12 graduate hours this fall (4 classes - one on Monday, one on Wednesday, and two on Thursday), so that keeps him pretty busy. A month ago, he was cleared to do half days on bike, and that helped his morale at work quite a bit. He should be good to go full days whenever he's ready - the doc said October, which starts tomorrow! I know that will be a big relief for him - the 9 months he spent doing dispatch all day really wore on him.

In other family news, my stepdad is still hanging in there. He has ups and downs, good days and bad days, and it's all guesswork as to how long he'll be around. He's still hoping to be around to see the baby in the Spring, and I know I'd love it if that were to happen! He's been battling edema for several weeks, mostly in his legs and feet, and he still has over 20 lbs of water weight on him. He went into hospice care several weeks ago, and it did make a huge difference in his comfort level almost immediately. They put him on a medication regiment that helped control his coughing, which had been his biggest source of discomfort. He gave us quite a scare yesterday morning - I happened to have taken the day off to go spend time with him, and his breathing was labored, and he wasn't acting like himself at all. By the dinner time, he was much more himself, and I'm hoping he continues to improve. Still no idea what caused this, and care for hospice patients is a little different anyway, so the doctors don't seem to be in as big a rush to get to the bottom of it.

So as you can see, life's been full of ups and downs lately. I'm going to try to be more faithful in my blog updates from now on. Love to you all!

I have been blogging...

Just not here.

I've joined the blog at Pregosaur - and in case you need any hints, I'm Citysaur.

It's been a good way to get out my thoughts and feelings on this pregnancy journey, without always bugging my friends and family with every little bit of info - though they've all been more than gracious about sharing in the experience with me.

In other news, my stepdad is still hanging in there. He's in good spirits, and has a great attitude about everything. The latest news is that they've started hospice care, which will be a huge help for them both, I believe. I'm just trying to enjoy every single visit with them as much as possible, having no idea how much longer we have. I'm still going to group therapy at Gilda's Club, and it's been a tremendous experience. We missed for the first time this week because I was feeling under the weather - just a little sinus/allergy problem that's already starting to clear up.

That's it for now! More later, I promise!

We're having a baby!

Yep, it's true. I'm pregnant!

I apologize for the lack of posts here. I've tried several times to come up with something to post about that wasn't pregnancy-related...but I just couldn't do it!

We tried to hold the news in as long as we could...but could only make it to 10 weeks. That's how far along we are today. Our estimated due date is March 24.

We've already made one big decision...we're going to try for a natural birth. We both feel it's the best decision for us and our baby. We're still checking our options and deciding where we'll give birth, but we'll definitely be using a midwife instead of an obstetrician.

Things have gone well so far in the pregnancy. My main symptom is being tired all the time - and I do mean all the time. I've had one bought of morning sickness, about a week and a half ago.

Branden and I are both over the moon, and can't wait to start our little family! Here are a few of the clothes we've gotten already: