Monday, October 19, 2009

It doesn't get any easier...

I'm really trying to stay positive...but today certainly didn't help.

Over the weekend, I got confirmation on my suspicions regarding Wayne. I suspected that once he was bedridden, that was the beginning of the end. I just know him and I know his spirit and I knew that he wouldn't want to live like that. On Friday, he told my mom and me that he was ready to go. That he didn't want to be a burden on anyone anymore, and he knew his time was coming.

Today, more news. Wayne's hospice nurse suspects the beginnings of pneumonia and a UTI. Because he doesn't wish to have any life-prolonging care or treatment, he won't receive antibiotics. So the nurse doubled his morphine and that was that. It's likely the infection could end his life sooner.

My mom has been great throughout this process. She has been there by his side every step of the way, learning everything she can to support him and help herself through each stage. She has been a wonderful advocate for him, as well as a caretaker and companion. I am so proud of her. I will not call her strong, because I learned from a recent widow from our Gilda's Club support group that they get tired of being called strong when they feel anything but. I will say that she has done everything she could for him, and more.

I really tried to soldier on through the day after hearing the latest news, and I was doing a pretty good job until I left work. I was in a rush to catch the bus and tried to take a shortcut over the grass berm in front of our building. Big Mistake! As soon as I hit the downhill slope, I felt my feet fall out from under me and I went crashing down on my rear end. Did I mention that said berm was quite muddy? So I sat there, covered in mud, and watched my bus drive right on by. Thank goodness for a kind coworker (and friend) who gave me a ride home, despite being covered in mud!

Life goes on, right? So I'm waiting for my dryer to beep so I can throw on some clothes and go get groceries. Such is life...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Things that make me happy

In an effort to keep a positive outlook and stay upbeat lately, I've been focusing on the positive. Here are some things that make me happy...

1. Watching "The Office." I'm currently on Season 5, thanks to Netflix!

2. Hanging out with my Mom. We're going shopping for baby items at a big resale event tomorrow, and I can't wait!

3. Playing Guitar Hero 5 with Branden...even though I always have to play bass to his guitar. :)

4. Going to the State Fair! Doing this on Sunday, and can't wait to get to ride the train right up to the main gates!

5. Finally looking pregnant! Here I am at 17 weeks on Wednesday the 14th:

6. My birthday! On the 24th, I turn...

And finally...#7 - our Big Ultrasound on the 26th! We finally get to find out...

Let's just hope our little CityBaby cooperates and shows us the goods!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A Great Weekend

I have had a wonderful weekend! After the emotional mess that happened on Tuesday, it was very welcome.

Saturday started out with a trip to Arlington to spend some quality time with Wayne. This time around, there were no big surprises waiting for me when I arrived, and no unexpected trips to the hospital either. Just me and Wayne and lots and lots of great conversation. White I was there, I also got him food, helped him into the living room, cleaned up his room a little for the company he was to have that evening, and helped him into the bathroom so he could clean himself up a little before I left. The best part was just sitting in the recliner next to him and talking, about anything and everything. He was back to his old self, no traces of Tuesday's scare left, and I can't put into words how grateful I am for this. It was a wonderful visit!

From Arlington, I headed up to Wylie to visit with Jeana, her baby Taryn, and Lindsey. It's been months since I've seen Taryn, and she's grown so much! Here is Taryn, hanging out in the high chair at Taco Bell. She's almost 9 months old now:

After a great visit with the girls, I headed home and fell asleep on the couch while Branden played on the computer.

Today has been a great around-the-house day. We started out with a trip to Cafe Brazil in Deep Ellum for brunch. Since then, I've done laundry, played on the computer, watched Grey's Anatomy online. We got groceries this afternoon, and I made taco salad for dinner. Now we're re-watching An Inconvenient Truth at Branden's request.

So that's been my weekend! Hope yours has been good as well. :o)