Babies Don't Keep

I hope that my child will look back on today
And see a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking
But children grow up while we're not looking.
Dusting and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow
For babies grow fast we learn to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm nursing my baby and babies don't keep.

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, this is what I saw...



Then there was this...



Followed by this...



And now this!



I can't believe it's been a year since that positive pregnancy test! This past year has been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. But ultimately, I have the best gift ever to show for it - my beautiful son, Benjamin James.

4 months already?!

My baby Benjamin...you turned 4 months old yesterday! These last four months have been incredible, amazing, a bit trying, but so wonderful. Daddy and I are working out our issues and learning how to be parents together, which isn't always easy. But you make it so worth it!

So, what are you up to these days?

*You looove chewing your hands. Can't get enough of them. I know you'd love it if you could just stuff that whole fist in your mouth.

*You're still exclusively breastfed, even though Mommy has been back at work for over a month now. I have to pump three times a day to make sure you get enough to eat, but so far, it's going well.

*You're generally a pretty good sleeper. We stopped swaddling you several weeks ago, and you didn't mind at all. You'll take naps in your crib, but I don't think either of us are ready for you to sleep there all night yet. Right now, you're still sleeping in the co-sleeper bassinet next to Mommy's side of the bed.

*You're a very happy baby! You love to smile, and I've gotten you to laugh a few times. You're still very stingy with the laughs, but the smiles come all the time now - even first thing in the morning. I love how you wake up happy!

*Daddy weighed you the other day on the bathroom scale, and we think you're close to 14 pounds. We'll find out for sure on Monday, at your 4-month appointment. You'll get more vaccinations then too. You did great with your 2-month shots, so I hope you do equally well this time.

*Your favorite thing to do is stand up. We still have to hold you steady, but your strong little legs can bare all your weight no problem.

*You hate tummy time, but we make you do it anyway. Your arms are still a bit weak, especially compared to your superbabylegs, but we're working on it. You've rolled over a few times, but I think it's just because you were on an uneven surface. Still waiting to see a real "rollover".

*You have your entire family wrapped around your finger. They all adore you, and why wouldn't they? You're the cutest baby ever! (Daddy and I agree on this).

I love you so much, Benjamin, and I truly enjoy watching you grow up and learn about the world around you.

Love,
Mommy

Dance Magic baby

Dancing Baby Ben! We were watching The Labyrinth the other day, and Branden started making Ben dance. It was just too cute, so I got it on video...

Date night, and Ben laughing!

This has been a big weekend! It started out last night, with our first date night since Ben was born. Branden really outdid himself for this one! He wouldn't tell me what we were doing, so I was in suspense for several weeks, wondering what he might have up his sleeve.

We started out with dinner, which we cooked at home. My mom was going to watch Ben for us, so Branden invited her to have dinner with us. He bought prime beef from the meat market down the street and we had steak, mashed potatoes (a joint effort between me and my mom, who finished them up while I fed Ben/got ready) and steamed squash (I made that).

Imagine my surprise when, just as I was about to go upstairs to get dressed, Pete and Rachel walked in the door!! I was so happy to see them. Yay for a double date!

So we all ate dinner (delicious - Branden did a great job with the steak!). Then we headed out to catch the train. Branden did a fake out and we almost got off at the Deep Ellum station, but when we sat back down, I knew exactly where we were going. Fair Park Station...Music Hall...

Yesssss! I was so excited to finally see Wicked for the first time. And it was everything I hoped (and had heard) it would be! Loved it!!! And even better to get to see it with friends.

On the way home, the guys stopped for ice cream while Rachel and I went back to the loft to relieve my mom (it was awfully late!). After she left, I fed Ben while everyone else ate their ice cream and talked. (I did, eventually, get to eat my ice cream too). It was a great night!

And today has been a great day as well. Ben and I went shopping for some dinner items to make Branden a special Father's Day dinner. When we got back, we were playing together on the couch, and I noticed he was in a really good mood. I hopped up to get the camera, and this is the result: Ben laughing video [Note: I can't get the embed code to work right, so you'll have to click the link and go to youtube - sorry about that!]

Branden's home now, so I'm going to spend a few hours with him on his first Father's Day!

I have two blogs

Just as I blogged on Pregosaur during my pregnancy, I am now blogging on the sister blog, Littlesaur, about my experiences raising baby Benjamin. I'm Citysaur on those blogs, and I've already posted my introduction on Littlesaur.

So yeah - me, who's not the best at keeping up a blog to begin with, has committed to two blogs. I want to keep this blog up, because I still need an outlet for things that may not be baby-related, or things that are more personal that I don't necessarily want to share on a national blog.

Like this.

I attended a funeral yesterday at DFW National Cemetery, and of course I couldn't leave without stopping by to see Wayne. It was the first time I'd taken Benjamin, and I won't lie. It was really, really difficult. I just can't get it out of my head that this isn't how it was supposed to be.

Ben Update

That's my little cutie! We call this "SuperBaby with his Crimefighting Pacifier".

So last entry, I mentioned that Ben had a cough. Well, it did turn out to be something - RSV, or Respiratory Syncytial Virus. Other than the cough, and maybe being a little sleepier than normal (and when is that a bad thing?!), Ben isn't showing many ill effects from this virus, though. We went back to the pediatrician on Wednesday, and she sent us home with a nebulizer for breathing treatments. Ben does not like them! Have you ever tried to hold an oxygen mask on a squirming infant? Yeah...not easy. So we faithfully gave him his treatments, and went back today. He's making a good recovery, and we're just supposed to keep up with the treatments and keep him hydrated. The virus should work its way out of his system in a week or two.

Also on Wednesday, Ben had his hearing test. For this test, we were led into a soundproof testing room. I sat in a glider with Ben on my lap, and the audiologist hooked up electrodes on his head - two on his forehead, and one behind each ear. She started with his left ear, and ran a whole series of click and sound tests with a computer, which gave her readouts of his brainwave response. I had to stay absolutely still (so he wouldn't wake up) and completely silent. My mom was in the room with us, and afterwards she said she wasn't sure how I did it! Halfway through, I turned him around and she tested the other ear. The whole thing took about 90 minutes.

The results were basically good. He didn't show any neurological hearing damage. He showed a little bit of conductive hearing loss, but she said that's likely due to fluid in his ears - could be fluid still leftover from birth, or fluid due to the RSV. We're bringing him back in to repeat the test in early June. If he passes that, then all is well. If not, then we'll be referred to an ENT for further testing. Either way, it's likely something that will either fix itself or can be fixed. Definitely good news, and such a relief!!

On the childcare front, we're hopefully working out a plan. We put in our application last November for the only independent/non-church-affiliated daycare center in downtown Dallas. We really, really like the place. We put all our eggs in that one basket. Of course, it's all dependent on timing, and when spots open up. Since there are only 8 spots in the infant room, it can be a waiting game. And that's what it has turned into for us. We're currently second in line on the waiting list - which means 2 kids have to leave the infant room (usually, to head to the toddler room, which they do around 1 year of age) before Ben will get a spot. At first, we weren't sure when exactly that would be. But after a frank conversation with the daycare director, wherein I told him that we were definitely interested in using their center, and we would be taking a spot as soon as it opened, he let me know that we're probably looking at mid to late July. So that's 6 or 8 weeks of a temporary situation. And we think we may have it figured out.

Branden will be switching shifts when I go back to work. He'll go to C shift, which works Fri-Mon, 10 AM - 9 PM. He'll be off Tues-Thurs, so he'll be with Ben those days. That just leaves Friday and Monday to figure out, assuming I work my typical workweek. My mom is off on Fridays, and she has agreed to watch Ben then. So for Mondays, I'm working with my boss/management to see if I might be able to work from home...or if I might just have to take that day off unpaid for a while. No word yet on how that will turn out, but I think we'll be able to figure it out, one way or another. So there's our plan!

It actually works out pretty well. I think it will be easier for me to go back to work (in 3 weeks - whoa) knowing that Ben will be with family for a while. Branden will get to spend a good amount of time with Ben, which he hasn't gotten to do much yet, thanks to working full-time and taking 4 graduate classes this semester. (Thankfully, the semester is over next week). My mom will get to spend some quality time with Ben, which I think she will enjoy (or at least, I hope so!). By the time he does go to daycare, he'll be almost five months old, and ready for some socialization with other babies. The only downside to the situation is that I won't get to spend much time with Branden for a while. We'll be working exactly opposite schedules, and won't have any days off together. If he takes a class over the summer (he's still working that out), then it would be Tues/Thurs evenings for five weeks - so during that time, I would only have one evening a week to see him. But, it's all temporary, and I have to remind myself that plenty of couples work opposite schedules (my sister-in-law and her husband, for example) and they manage to make it work. So I know we can too. Once Ben's in daycare, Branden will switch back to his regular shift, and we'll all have more time together. (And hopefully, once he graduates, either this summer or in December, he'll find a super-awesome professional planner job, and then he'll have real workday hours).

Phew...I had no idea this post was going to turn into a novel! I guess I had a lot to get out! Here's one more picture of our little munchkin...showing off his new talent, smiling! We don't get to see this very often...but it sure is a great reminder of what we're doing all this for. He is so worth it!